


Some Call it Destiny

by NaomiiPendragon



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 18th century ish, F/M, M/M, Merthur - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-14 21:28:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 23,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4580778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaomiiPendragon/pseuds/NaomiiPendragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Arthur saw Merlin Emrys, he knew he was doomed. Wasn't it just too bad that his father had decided his son should marry Emrys’ cold half- sister.</p><p>Featuring a soppy title :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will be posted in multiple parts, I don't know how many that will be yet as I am not even nearly finished writing...  
> Today I post the first part, but due to annoying circumstances, this is a very rough version (the better version is on a different laptop that is not anywhere near me atm, but it will be posted as well) 
> 
> The characters of BBC's Merlin are not mine and I dont make any profit off of this bla bla bla
> 
> Enjoy :D x

Some Call it Destiny

The first time Arthur saw Merlin Emrys, he knew he was doomed.   
Wasn't it just too bad that his father had decided his son should marry Emrys’ cold half- sister.

An advantageous marriage Uther had called it. He had been all for it when he first heard of Mr and Mrs Gorlois Lefay, their arrival in town, their wealth, and of course beautiful daughter Morgana, but still, most of all, their wealth. Yes, a marriage between his Arthur and Miss Lefay would be most advantageous! And it was about time his son married. He was, after all, already four and twenty. 

Uther had always advised his son to marry as young as possible, and to get as many children as possible. For Uther marriage meant more money and heirs to the Pendragon fortune, love did not take part in such matters.

Uther had not known about the existence of Merlin Emrys. Mr Emrys was the son of Hunith Lefay and her late husband, Balinor Emrys, but the man had died of a strong fever and Hunith had remarried a year later. Merlin was 4 years old when Hunith had remarried and in the first year of that marriage, Morgana was born. Emrys, now being twenty three, was one year younger than Arthur Pendragon. Morgana was only eighteen but very clever and very, very beautiful (long, wavy, black hair. Green eyes and red, full lips not to speak of her body, that looked soft and curvy in all the right places). Had it not been for her cold and proud attitude towards others, she would have made the perfect woman. 

Merlin was quite different from Morgana, he also was rather rich, as he had been the heir to his father's fortune. He had been in charge of the money since 18 and he had handled it with much responsibility. He was only just done with studying history at Oxford and he had obtained a good position at some or other government department. Emrys was kind hearted, all big blue eyes and unruly (to his mother's horror) black hair. He was a selfless person and he gave much to charity.  
When Uther organised a ball to welcome the house of Balinor to their town, he had not expected Emrys. However, he had not minded it, for he seemed like a good lad, great company indeed.

Had he known how the big eared chap would ruin all the future plans he had for his son Arthur, he would not have been so happy.

Arthur knew why his father had arranged the ball. Not to welcome Mr Lefay and his family, no, he had known about their daughter, her beauty and promised wealth. He knew his time was up, he knew about his father's scheme to marry him off to Miss Lefay and he knew that Mr Lefay would not be so stupid as to refuse. Arthur had always known he had to marry the woman his father chose. Arthur couldn't deny it, he too saw all the advantages, and he had peace with it. 

With such an attitude Arthur entered the large ballroom in his father's estate. He was determined to get to know Miss Lefay and get in her parents' good graces.   
Music was playing in the beautifully decorated room, people of high society where everywhere, some dancing, some talking happily. A young lady was playing the grand piano forte in one of the adjoining rooms which doors where open, she had a small audience who's faces showed nothing but delight.  
Arthur saw all the advantages of an exclusive ball. The company was much more enjoyable than the company in those large balls to which the entire town was invited.   
Arthur searched for his father and saw him at last, talking to Mr Lefay. Lefay had black hair with some gray stripes in it and a strong looking figure. His eyes where dark, yet blue and in them Arthur found a gleam that made the man look powerful and perhaps slightly sardonic. His wife, Hunith, had a kind face. She had brown hair and brown eyes and a small smile on her lips. Her dress was a beautiful dark green, it was simple, but very elegant. Her overall appearance reminded Arthur of autumn, he liked her already. 

If Miss Lefay had been next to catch his eye, he might not have been so doomed. However, it was a young man, of his own age that caught his eye.   
He was leaning against the mantelpiece, his long, wiry body perfectly on display for Arthur to admire. He had perhaps not been beautiful by rule but there was something about his appearance that gave Arthur a warm feeling in his stomach. He loved the way the man’s black hair curled slightly over his large, but affectionate ears. How his nose seemed to have a perfect point on it. Oh how Arthur longed to stroke a finger over the bridge of it, just to feel its shape. The man’s lips, that seemed too full for any man but where still the most beautiful lips Arthur had ever beheld, looked positively made for kissing and... sucking. Oh yes. Pictures of the tall, pale beauty, on his knees, in front of Arthur, filled his mind. If only he could paint, he would have made the image in his mind immortal.   
He was startled from his fantasy by his father, "Arthur, why don't you greet our guests?", he said with a pleasant smile.   
"Of course father", Arthur replied with all the intention to immediately get to know 'tall and pale' -as he had come to call the beauty in his mind- Uther had a different plan for his son. He steered him towards Mr and Mrs Lefay and they were introduced.

 

****************************

 

Merlin Emrys was leaning against the mantelpiece. He wasn’t one to go to parties, but Mr Lefay had been rather inclined that Merlin should come along. Merlin honestly couldn’t understand why he had to. He was not stupid, he knew this party was only a set-up between Mr Lefay and this Mr Pendragon. They were obviously hoping that their children would get acquainted so that they could celebrate their marriage in about 6 months. ‘Poor fellow’, Merlin thought. He was not so eager to think badly about anyone, but his sister Morgana really was quite cold, and proud. No, she would not be a quiet wife. 

“Merlin, dear”, His mother took his arm and guided him to where she, her husband and their daughter were standing.

A large calloused hand was offered and Merlin grabbed it in a manly handshake. “Good to meet you Mr Emrys. I am Uther Pendragon, I hope you are enjoying yourself.”  
“Oh, indeed. You have a beautiful home”, Merlin replied.  
\- “Well thank you very much. Are you not dancing Mr Emrys? Surely there are many single ladies present who would not decline such a fine young man as yourself”, Uther Pendragon stated with a pleasant smile on his face.

Uther Pendragon seemed a kind enough man, but Merlin understood that this must be his attitude if he wanted his son to marry Morgana.   
“I am not much of a dancer Mr Pendragon, I would much rather observe”, He answered Mr Pendragon.  
-“Well. To each their own I suppose”, Uther said, while patting Merlin’s arm. “I would like you to meet my son, Arthur”. 

 

***************************************

 

After being introduced to the three Lefays, Arthur was still waiting to be introduced to ‘tall and pale’.   
Mrs Lefay had been as he’d expected her to be, she was kind and warm, however there seemed to be a certain tiredness about her. Arthur was not quite sure about Mr Lefay yet, but he was sure he would be able to form his opinion on him in the coming weeks. His probably ‘bride to be’, who was called Morgana, was exactly how he dreaded her to be. She was cold and she seemed to think herself quite a lot better than everyone else. Arthur knew he was going to marry her, it was inevitable, he would learn to live with it. 

Mrs Lefay led ‘tall and pale’ away from where he had been leaning against the mantelpiece and he was introduced to Uther. 

“Good to meet you Mr Emrys. I am Uther Pendragon, I hope you are enjoying yourself”, His father asked ‘tall and pale’ who was apparently called Merlin Emrys.  
Emrys seemed rather shy, he spoke in soft tones, as though he did not want to be overheard. He told Arthur’s father how he did not dance. It was to be expected. 

“I would like you to meet my son, Arthur”, Arthur heard his father say. Finally. This would be his chance to leave a good impression with Emrys.   
Emrys stretched out his hand towards Arthur’s and they shook in greeting. Arthur’s thumb softly stroking the delicate skin underneath. Emrys inhaled a sharp breath of surprise and blushed fiercely. HA! Success! Perhaps this shy man was a sinner too? 

“Lovely to meet your acquaintance Mr Emrys”, Arthur spoke with his most blinding smile.  
-“Please, call me Merlin. Our ages are so close together, I would find it rather strange to stay so very formal”, Merlin said with an embarrassed smile.   
“Indeed Merlin, you are right. I insist on you calling me Arthur then.”

Arthur looked into Merlin’s deep blue eyes, it was like looking directly into Merlin’s soul. It was only when he felt a soft tug on his hand that he realised that he was still holding Merlin’s long hand in his. He quickly let go. Merlin flexed his fingers as if he was shaking off a feeling and his ears turned again a rather deep shade of red.   
Merlin was a lust object that Arthur was sure to seduce. 

After the Lefays had been at the ball for about one hour, Mr Lefay decided they needed to return back to their mansion. It was only sensible of Mr Lefay, this way there would still be a certain mystery to his daughter, as hardly anyone had gotten the chance to even talk to her.

Merlin had decided that he should stay a while longer, he quite liked Arthur. He found Arthur to be a bit posh, but he was also very kind and clever. Merlin had missed such stimulating company ever since his uncle Gaius had died the year before.  
Merlin told Arthur about his passion for reading and art, and about how he had learned to paint during his college years.   
Arthur told Merlin about his love for animals and his horse, that was his pride and joy. 

“Whenever I feel like I need to get away from all of this, Excalibur is always there to take me away”, Arthur said as he leaned on the balcony, breathing in the warm summer air.  
Merlin walked over to th=e blond man and took in his aristocratic profile. “My art does that for me. It allows me to paint my dreams, my desires.”  
Arthur looked up at the word ‘desires’ and he smiled at Merlin. “Do you ride, Merlin?”, He asked.  
“Yes. Why do you ask?”  
“Well, a week from now, some of my friends and I are going to a villa we own together. It is quite secluded and we go there once in a while to ride our horses and enjoy the outdoors.”  
“I don’t know Arthur,” Merlin replied unsure. “I would love to come, but I don’t want to intrude, and your friends, they may not like me.”  
“Of course they will like you,” Arthur spoke in a soft voice. 

It was strange, how only after a few hours of spending time with Merlin, Arthur already had to remind himself not to get too involved. He had already made the mistake of inviting Merlin, but he convinced himself that it would make seducing Merlin easier if he gained his trust.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dearies!! 
> 
> I just wanted to start of by thanking everyone for their kind responses and the kudos :D you have given me so much motivation to continue.
> 
> I have finally gotten back my other laptop, so here is chapter 2!   
> I have also edited chapter 1, the changes are very small, but if you would like you could read that again as well. 
> 
> Hope you all love this chapter as well :3
> 
> xxx

And so it was that after one week of the Lefays dining with the Pendragons and the Pendragons dining with the Lefays, that Arthur felt more and more contempt for his fiancé to be and more adoration for his new raven haired friend. Who was now sitting opposite him in the chase- and- four that was to bring them to the villa.  
Arthur watched Merlin as he stared out of the small, open window of their transportation device. Both men only wore light clothes. Merlin had worried over the informality of it, but Arthur had assured Merlin that everyone would look as casual as possible. 

Arthurs eyes traced the incredible cheekbones, the long, exposed neck, the bit of collarbone that was exposed from under the collar of Merlin’s shirt.   
“Why do you watch me so?”, Merlin asked as his eyes met Arthurs.  
A blush crept up on Arthurs cheeks.  
“I was watching you simply because I wanted to ask you something, but your mind seemed much too occupied to be disturbed”, he lied.  
“Yes, of course”, Merlin said a little sceptical. “And what where you going to ask me?”, he asked with a raised eyebrow as he bit his lip so his smile would not break through.

“Umh. Oh simply if you have packed your painting supplies, there are some amazing views where we are going”, Arthur made up as a response.   
“Yes, yes I have”, Merlin said with a smile as he returned to look out of the window.  
Merlin thought of the week ahead of him. What would this trip bring him? His mother had been very enthusiastic about it all. She found it long due that her son would make some friends. Merlin was curious about Arthurs friends, and, if after this week, they would be his friends too.   
Why was it that when he looked at Arthur, he felt like he was floating? Merlin had met quite a lot of men, but never had any of those men made him feel so confused. It felt as though he was questioning his whole being. 

 

*************

 

In the week previous to their departure, Arthur had told Merlin all about his friends. There was Leon Degrance, he was a man with some French aristocratic roots. Leon had straw blond, curly hair and he sometimes grew a bit of a beard. Leon was married to a woman named Mithian. She had dark brown hair and ivory skin according to Arthur. Next there was a man called Gwaine Macken, he had Irish roots. Arthur described Gwaine as a real ladiesman. He was probably never going to settle down. “With his wavy brown hair and his sweet words, he could make the most obedient wife a cheater”, Arthur had said with a playful smile.  
Gwaine was probably bringing his best friend Percival Harrolds with him. “You will have no difficulty recognizing Percivcal”, Arthur had said.  
“And why is that?”, asked a curious Merlin.  
“Percival has arms like trees!”, Arthur had exclaimed.   
Last you had Lancelot du Lac and his wife Guinevere, or Gwen as she preferred to be called. Lancelot and Gwen spend quite a lot of time in the West Indies, they were always tan skinned. They also both had chestnut hair, they were very devoted to each other, but no children had come of the match as of yet.   
“Don’t be afraid to call them by their first names, I’m sure they won’t mind”  
Merlin was excited to meet all of them. 

 

***************

 

It was around noon when the coach made its last turn and a beautiful, old villa came into Merlin’s view.  
Arthur looked expectantly at Merlin’s face, waiting for his first reaction, and smiled when he saw Merlin’s wonder and happiness at seeing the place.   
The villa was beautiful and seemed to seamlessly blend in with the surroundings. Colourful flowers bloomed against the front wall and there were trees all around. The villa seemed cosy and more like a cottage despite its size. 

Arthur helped Merlin out of the coach and said teasingly: “Well, wouldn’t you like to paint that picture?”  
“Ha! Show off!”, Merlin answered as he lightly punched Arthur’s arm after which the blond faked injury.   
Arthur could not get enough of Merlin’s smile -even after knowing it for just one week. The way the skin around his eyes crinkled, the lone dimple in his right cheek. He especially loved the way Merlin’s laugh sounded slightly idiotic, perhaps even childish at times.   
Merlin stopped laughing and looked in Arthur’s eyes, where he again saw that look. He wasn’t sure what it was about, but he had seen it often in the past week. The two young men were still staring with a slight hint of challenge in their eyes when they were interrupted by a shriek of pleasure. 

“Arthur!”  
A beautiful young woman with tan skin and lovely thick curls came running out of the villa.  
‘This must be Mrs du Lac’, Merlin thought.  
The young woman -Mrs du Lac indeed- ran over to Arthur and jumped into his arms.  
“Guinevere, it has been far too long”, Arthur said to her in a private voice as he twirled her around in his strong arms. 

“Hey! Stay away from my wife you cad!”, a voice sounded from the house. A most handsome man with a blinding smile came walking calmly towards Arthur, Merlin and Mrs du Lac.   
“Hello Arthur, good to see you in high spirit”, Mr du Lac said as he patted Arthur on the back.   
“Lancelot. Good to see you too. I would like you to meet Merlin”, Arthur replied.   
Lancelot extended a strong looking hand and Merlin took it. 

“Arthur has already told me a lot in the letter he send ahead, it is good to meet you Merlin.”  
“Likewise”, Merlin answered, wondering about what exactly Arthur had written about him.

“I hear you are a painter, Merlin”, Guinevere inquired.   
“Oh, yes I do paint a bit in my spare time”, Merlin replied with a slight blush creeping up his cheeks.   
“Well then you simply must paint a portrait of Mithian and me!”   
“Gwen, sweetheart, please let the man breath for a bit. He hasn’t even had the chance to get into the house”, Lancelot said to his wife while offering Merlin a kind smile. 

“Where are Leon, Mith and Gwaine?”, Arthur asked.  
“Gwaine and Mithian are playing pool in the game room and Leon and Percival are trying to keep them from getting physical”, Gwen replied with a smirk.  
“Oh, so Percival has come as well?”  
“Why, yes of course.”  
“Well lets go inside so Merlin and I can unpack our things, I think we could both do with a change of clothes”, Arthur said as he laid a hand on the small of Merlin’s back. Merlin startled a bit at the touch and looked at Arthur with wonder, but the man simply looked back at Merlin with a happy smile. Neither Lancelot or Guinevere seemed phased by the touch.

As Arthur and Merlin walked their things into the house, Gwen and Lancelot shared a look.  
“What do you think of Merlin?”, Gwen asked her husband.  
“He seems nice enough.”  
“Oh, Lance you know that is not what I mean”, Gwen said with a sigh in her voice.   
“You, of course, are wondering if I think Arthur has his eye set on this man? Don’t you?”, Lancelot replied with a smile at his wife’s prying manner.  
“Yes! What else!”, Gwen replied as she playfully slapped her husband on his chest.   
But Lance decided to only smile at her as he walked towards the villa.  
“Lancelot you are no fun!”

 

************************

 

Merlin was in his room, unpacking his things. It was a light room with crème walls, light blue curtains that where sure to let the earliest light through, a beautiful mahogany dresser and desk, and a matching four poster bed with sheets to match the curtains. When his last piece of clothing was put away he walked over to the window.  
It was a magnificent view. There was no real garden ,only endless trees, hidden paths and mysteries that Merlin desperately wanted to unravel. 

Arthur was glad to be back at the house with the people he held most dear. He stood with his back against Merlin’s bedroom door. When Arthur first saw Merlin a week ago, he had thought of him as nothing but a lust object, a man to use for his own amusement before tying himself down with the dreadful Miss Lefay. His thoughts were so different now, he thought it was ridiculous, but Merlin still seemed one big mystery to him. 

Yes, he was sweet and seemed to blush very easily, he was generous and clever and when he talked about his interests he started talking with so much speed and animation it was sometimes difficult to understand him. However, behind these things that Arthur had already found out, was something more that he just couldn’t put his finger on. The looks he sometimes shared with Merlin seemed so full of meaning, but Arthur could not yet comprehend what the meaning could be.   
He heard little movement coming from the other side of the door, so he decided to walk in to take Merlin to his friends. When he opened the door he was greeted with the sight of a half dressed Merlin, looking through his shirts. 

Merlin’s back was much more toned than Arthur thought it would be. Merlin was obviously skinny but it was not from a lack of muscles.   
Merlin turned around, holding a clean shirt. Arthur could then admire Merlin’s chest and pectorals, which were nice and lean. A flush of dark hair was splattered across his chest and a thin trail lead to the promised land. 

Arthur was roughly awakened from his stare by a sharp gasp. Merlin, who had not anticipated Arthur coming in, quickly held his shirt up to cover his chest.   
“Don’t be such a girl Merlin,” Arthur teased.   
“Haven’t you ever heard about knocking?”, Merlin replied while putting on his shirt.   
“Don’t worry, it’s not anything I haven’t seen before,” Arthur said with a quirked smile.  
Merlin shook his head while he tried to hold back a smile. “What is it you want Arthur?”  
“Who says I wanted anything?”  
“Well, why else would you come and ogle my bare chest?”  
Arthur blushed. “I only meant to see if you were ready to come downstairs so you could properly meet my friends, but if you don’t want to meet them and stay in your room all week, that’s fine by me.” He walked away while smiling at Merlin with a playful and challenging smile. Merlin skipped past him and shoved his arm.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dearies!   
> It is time for part 3 of my story :D   
> Thanks so much if you're still bearing with me and if you left kudos :D It's much appreciated <3  
> I am planning on updating the story every 10 - 14 days or so. I'll try my best to keep it going.   
> Thankfully I have some help from my good friend Dani, who helps me brainstorm and who actually knows how to write :) 
> 
> x   
> Hope you guys enjoy and see you in 10 - 14 days

Arthur led Merlin to the game-room. When they entered, Merlin saw a man and a woman staring at each other with challenge in their eyes. Merlin wondered what was going on. 

“Just shoot it”, Gwaine told Mithian in a mocking way. “or are you scaaared! You’re chicken aren’t you?”  
“Don’t. You. Dare! Make a chicken noise!”

Merlin saw that it was Mithian’s turn. The game was almost finished and all Mithian had to do to win, was shoot the black ball in the pocket. Gwaine was teasing her, but there was obvious tension on his brow.  
“What’s at stake this time?”, Arthur asked. Gwaine and Mithian looked up at that. “Arthur!”, They both exclaimed. Gwaine walked right up to Arthur and without hesitation kissed him flush on the lips. When he moved away he uttered in a positively crooning voice: “Hello princes”.   
Arthur spluttered. “Gwaine?! What the hell!”   
“Oh, Arthur, don’t be like that”, Gwaine said with a mischievous wink in Merlin’s direction.  
Merlin could see what Arthur had meant when he said Gwaine was a ladies man.  
There was a certain something about the way he held himself that screamed ‘I’m confident, you love me, I will break your heart and you will still want me’. 

To get back to Arthur’s question, Gwaine answered to a still astonished Arthur: “If I lose, I have to wear a dress and play out the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. I’ll be Juliet of course. If Mithian loses, she can’t come on the hunt.”  
Arthur quickly hugged Leon and gave an awkward handshake to Percival. “You two are incorrigible”, he said to Gwaine and Mithian.   
Mithian had regained her pose at the pool table and with a quick shot the black ball landed in the pocket. She jumped up and cheered, ran over to her husband and kissed him.  
Merlin was not sure to think of Gwaine and his flamboyant ways.   
Gwaine walked up to him and gave him an appreciative once-over. He looked at Arthur and asked him: “Is this tall beauty Merlin?” Merlin blushed and he saw Arthur shoot Gwaine a warning look, but the man only replied with a playful smirk.  
“Yes, everyone, this is Merlin,” Arthur told his friends and they all greeted him.   
Merlin was immediately occupied by the two ladies present, they were kind company and asked him all kinds of questions about himself. While in conversation, his eyes roamed to the far corner in the room where Arthur was talking to Gwaine. He couldn’t make out what they were saying but Arthur seemed to be talking in an earnest voice.

 

“Gwaine, I can’t believe you did that,” Arthur spoke to Gwaine in a soft but angry voice.  
“Mate don’t stress so much, it’s almost as if you’re trying to hide something to that Merlin of yours. Does he even know about… you know?”, Gwaine replied.  
Arthur was silent. Merlin didn’t know, hell Arthur didn’t even know how Merlin felt about men. He was hoping of course, but you couldn’t just turn a man could you?

Gwaine laid his hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “Arthur, you must be joking. He doesn’t know? I bet you don’t even know if he’s one of us do you? You can’t let your feelings grow for this man! You will just get hurt.”  
“I know! I know Gwaine. It’s just hard. Once you get to know him better you’ll see why. He is just so, so likable.”, Arthur replied, hanging his head.   
“Take care Arthur, I don’t want to see you hurt.”

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. The group of friends was spending it sitting comfortably in the drawing room, playing cards, reading books, talking in calm voices.   
Merlin was sketching, thinking about what Arthur and Gwaine could have been talking about. Was it about Gwaine calling him a “tall beauty”? Or that kiss. It struck Merlin as strange. He had never been called a beauty by a woman, let alone a man. Nor had he ever seen two men kiss like that.   
“Wow! That is incredible Merlin!”, Mithian exclaimed as she looked over Merlin’s shoulder at his drawing. “Arthur, come and look at this. Merlin has drawn you!”  
Merlin was surprised at that. He couldn’t remember consciously drawing Arthur. He looked down at his paper, and indeed, there was Arthur smiling at him from his paper. How had he not noticed this?  
Arthur walked over to where Merlin and Mithian were sitting. He was curious why Merlin had been drawing him. He stood close behind Merlin and as he leaned forward to see the drawing he slung one arm over Merlin’s shoulders and leaned his chest on his back. Merlin tensed slightly and blushed at Arthur’s eyes on his drawing.   
It is only natural for an amateur artist- if not for every artist, to be nervous when the subject of his or her art, looks upon said art. When Arthur walked over to Mithian and him, Merlin almost thought about making a run for it. Should he allow Arthur to see such a private thing? It was too late, Arthur had crossed the room to where he was. A shock ran through Merlin as Arthur put his arm across his shoulders and he felt Arthur’s chest rest against his back. It was too intimate. Too close. He felt like he was suffocating, but he couldn’t move away. 

 

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

“Arthur, come and look at this. Merlin has drawn you!”, Arthur heard from the other side of the room as he was startled awake from a day dream that definitely did not involve him kissing Merlin. He looked over to where Mithian’s voice came from and saw Merlin blush as he seemed to look at his own drawing in an almost dumbfounded way. He walked over to the two, curious about why Merlin would draw him.   
Arthur knew he had to find out whether or not Merlin liked men. Gwaine told him that Merlin might not even know it himself yet. Arthur was determent to help him find out.  
As he approached he decided he would get nice and cosy with Merlin. There wasn’t much room on the small couch anyway.   
Arthur sat down behind Merlin, draped his arm around Merlin’s shoulders and leaned heavily against his back. He almost felt the shiver running through Merlin, was he overdoing it?   
He unwillingly decided to move back a bit, but he still hovered close, his head nearly on Merlin’s shoulder.   
Arthur looked at the drawing Merlin had made. It was made with charcoal. It was so realistic.  
Merlin had done a beautiful job with the shading. Arthur didn’t know much about art, but he saw a certain softness in the features that he didn’t associate with himself so easily. He wondered if Merlin saw this in him. 

“So. Umh. What do you think?”, Merlin asked, sounding uncertain.  
Arthur thought about making a joke about it, but he saw in Merlin’s eyes that he shouldn’t.   
“It’s very beautiful,” he said instead in a soft tone.   
Merlin looked up at him, blushing fiercely. “Thank- Thank you.”  
Arthur stood up and made it a point to stroke Merlin’s neck as he lifted his arm from his shoulders.  
As he looked up he saw Gwen look at him with a slightly disapproving look, in answer, Arthur raised a challenging eyebrow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday all!
> 
> First of all, I'm sorry this one is a bit less than 1k :( I felt it looked better with the story.   
> To make up for it I might upload the 5th part in 5 days. It depends on how much I get to write. 
> 
> We are still very much at the beginning of our story I feel; everyone is still getting to know each other. Please bear with me as we build up to more angst and romance and such :) 
> 
> Hope you still like it! <3

The sun was not yet down, but twilight was on its way, a cool breeze was starting to flow through the open doors. Arthur was taking a stroll through the gardens as the others sat on the patio.   
Footsteps followed behind him, he turned around to see Guinevere approaching him. 

“Arthur?”, she called out to him.  
“I’m here,” he replied as he stepped out from behind the bush he had been hiding.   
“I want to talk to you Arthur.”  
“Yes I figured as much.”  
“Arthur you know I know that you have had affairs with men in the past. Don’t deny it. I know it’s not just Gwaine,” Gwen spoke to him. “I won’t judge you for it. Love is love in my opinion, besides, the Spartans did it and we all know how great a people they were.”  
Arthur chuckled awkwardly in reply.  
“I just want to tell you not to hurt Merlin under any circumstance!”  
“Guinevere! I don’t even know if he feels that way.”  
“You think you don’t, but I know you. I’ve been watching you, and him. You know you could persuade him, and I’ve seen that he will be persuaded. He likes you Arthur, but he does not yet know of the existence of feelings as such.”  
“What are you talking about Guinevere,” Arthur asked dumbfounded.  
“Oh, don’t play dumb. It doesn’t suit you,” Gwen said as she walked back towards the rest of the company.  
She left Arthur confused. So she thought Merlin liked him like that? The way men shouldn’t like other men. Why was it Arthur couldn’t tell if she was right? He had to find out for himself.

Arthur followed Gwen back to the patio, where everyone else was sitting. As he sat down on one of the lawn chairs, Merlin emitted a large yawn.   
‘Oh, I’m so sorry.’ Said Merlin. ‘I believe the trip here tired me more than I thought.’  
‘It is no crime to go to bed early, Merlin’, said Leon with a kind smile.   
“Breakfast is at ten.”, Arthur said.   
‘Yes, I think I should call it a night. Goodnight everyone.’

Some hours later, the others decided to go to bed as well. The air had cooled down somewhat and the inside temperature was almost bearable.   
As Arthur was on his way to his bed he stopped at Merlin’s door. He laid the palm of his hand against the door and contemplated whether or not he could go in. He lowered his hand to the doorknob. It was unlocked.   
Arthur opened the door as silently as he could, flinching at every little sound that came from the hinges.   
Pale moonlight shone through the light blue curtains and the air in the room was still rather heavy with the warmth of the sun. Arthur peeked inside to see if Merlin was sleeping and took a step inside the room.   
Merlin was stretched out naked on the bed with the duvet in between his legs, hiding his manhood discreetly. His long hands were snugly tucked underneath the pillow and he was breathing deep, steady breaths.   
Arthur looked upon the scene completely mesmerized. The way the moonlight highlighted every visible curve of Merlin’s body was art to him. His eyes hungrily traced the pale planes of the man fast asleep.   
Arthur startled as Merlin began to turn around and mumbled in a sleepy voice ‘Arth- mmmh’. Arthur quickly made sure Merlin was still asleep and he crept out of the room, not bothering to close the door. 

 

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Merlin woke up in a daze, the sun was already shining brightly through his curtains. He looked at the small clock on his bedside table, which told him that it was eight.   
He felt as though his whole body was aflame. The air in his room seemed to push everything down and felt incredibly dense.   
Merlin stretched himself languidly and felt his cheeks with the back of his hand, they felt warm and his whole body was slightly sticky with sleepy sweat.   
Nevertheless, He felt incredibly cosy.

He felt like the first thing he should do was bathe. In this state he couldn’t possibly function without it.   
Merlin wasn’t sure however, about how he could acquire a tub, water and soap.   
Just as Merlin was contemplating whether or not he should go out to find what he required, there was a tap on the door.   
“Yes?”, Merlin replied as he quickly pulled up the duvet to his chest, realising that he fell asleep naked.   
A young man in a servants uniform came in, stood ridiculously straight as he saw Merlin was still in bed and said: “I am sorry sir, your door was open so I presumed you were already up.”  
“Um, no. I’m sorry… Um, who exactly are you?”, Merlin replied. Not remembering that he left his door open.   
“I am George sir. I shall be taking care of you during your stay.”, the servant said. Almost beaming.   
If he stands any straighter, his back might give out. Merlin thought. “Well actually, um George, I was just wondering whether I could bathe before getting dressed.”  
“Naturally sir. Your bath shall be ready for you in half an hour. You can find the bathroom en-suite.”  
“Thank you George.” 

 

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

When Merlin entered the dining room everyone but the ladies and Gwaine were there.   
“Good morning.”, Merlin greeted the men.   
“Good morning.”, Lancelot answered. “Did you sleep well?”   
“I did. Thank you.”   
When Arthur noticed Merlin, he felt heath crawl up his cheeks. Still remembering the view he had had the previous night.   
He cleared his throat and said: “I’m glad you slept well. We’re going to go inWhen to town today and explore. If you want you can help yourself to breakfast.”   
When Merlin had gathered all he wanted to eat and drink the ladies and Gwaine entered as well.   
“Well, that took you long enough.”, Arthur said jokingly.   
“It takes time to look this pretty.” Answered Gwaine while striking a sassy pose.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dearies!   
> Ready for a new chapter?! 
> 
> Again, thanks sooo much for the kudos and comments and such! It really keeps me going :D  
> rn my schedule is sooo busy what with school and internship but I'm trying very hard to get some writing done every other night or so :) 
> 
> Thanks for bearing with me! See ya in ten days! <3

When everyone was finished with their breakfast the group of friends went on their way to the small coast town in two open carriages. The ladies had all brought their parasols to keep themselves out of the sun as they rode out of the forest and closer to the small coastal town of Camelot. 

Camelot was a charming town full of cosy little cafés and shops, amidst it all was a market square.  
From the square, there were four roads. One leading to a gravel beach, one leading to the lighthouse, one leading to the church and one leading back to the main road.

The group decided on having luncheon in an old pub called The Dragon. According to Arthur it had been there for little over two centuries.   
Even on such a bright summer’s day, the pub was very dark– and thankfully surprisingly cool. Most light came from antique oil lamps hanging from the ceiling.   
The floor and the furniture were made of a dark mahogany, but the walls were white and ordained with paintings of the area. 

While they were waiting for their meals Merlin got up to admire the art pieces. Most of the paintings were or landscapes or buildings. On one of them the colourful beach cabins were portrayed and on another the rough sea. 

One painting stood out for Merlin in particular. It was a painting of a beautiful woman wearing a light blue summer dress and her golden hair hung loosely down her front. The painter had really captured the light playing off on her hair and the soft smile she directed towards the young boy- who could only be her son with that hair- who was playing in the sand. 

“That’s Arthur and his mother. Did you know?”, Leon spoke, coming up behind Merlin.   
Merlin turned around in surprise. “Really? She’s beautiful.” He turned to Arthur: “Why wasn’t she at the ball Arthur?” 

Arthur looked up from his conversation with Gwen and Lance. “Who wasn’t?”, he inquired. 

“Your mother.” 

Arthur stood up and walked up to the painting. As he came closer and looked at it, Merlin saw the emotions clearly in Arthur’s eyes.   
Leon walked back to their table and Arthur answered quietly: “She died when I was ten. I was six in that painting.” 

“Oh, God. I’m sorry.”, Merlin replied hastily feeling an idiot for not realising.

“You couldn’t have known, don’t worry about it.”, Arthur reassured Merlin. Just as he laid his hand on Merlin’s shoulder their food arrived, and the two went back to their respectable places at the table. 

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

The afternoon was spend at the beach cabin on the painting, a cabin that was now Arthur’s.   
Percy and Gwaine were playing badminton and the two married couples had opted for a walk. Merlin found himself once again with Merlin.   
Arthur found himself wanting to tell Merlin more about his mother, but not without hoping that Merlin might share some more about himself. 

“You know, the villa actually belonged to my mother.” , he told Merlin.   
“You inherited it?”

“I did. We would always spend a few weeks here each summer, even when my father was too busy. All the best memories I made with her, were made here.”, Arthur said with a smile, looking sideways at Merlin. 

“I thought you said you owned the house with your friends.”, Merlin asked. 

“Well, technically not. However, we’ve been coming here together for some years now. I let them use the house whenever they want.”   
Merlin nodded. “Will you tell me more about your mother?” 

“Only if you tell me about your father.”

Merlin hesitated at that, he hadn’t known his father well. After all, he died when Merlin was only 3. Looking at Arthur however, he found that it should only be fair that Arthur knew some more about him. It reminded him that they actually didn’t know each other that well yet.   
Arthur told Merlin about his mother. How she was the loveliest person in the world to him and how much her father loved her. “As much as their families both really supported the match, they did marry out of love.” 

“Why won’t your father let you marry out of love then?”, Merlin questioned. “Assuming that you don’t love Morgana, that is.”  
Arthur chuckled at that. “Why Merlin, do you think ill of your sister?”, he teased. 

“Oh, come on!”, rebuked Merlin. “You have to agree that even in few evenings you’ve seen her, she can’t have been the nicest person you’ve ever met.”   
“No, that much is true. But she can’t be so very happy with an arranged marriage either, can she?” 

“I suppose not no.”   
“Besides, it is not as though my father wouldn’t want me to marry for love. It’s just that it would have to be a nice girl, from a rich, preferably aristocratic family.”   
“Can’t you go look for such a girl then?”, Merlin asked.

Arthur smiled ruefully at Merlin. “Things aren’t always as black and white Merlin.” 

Merlin didn’t quite understand what Arthur meant with that but it was clear that he shouldn’t pry for an explanation.   
“Anyway,” Arthur continued. “My mothered died when I was ten. She was pregnant of what would have been my brother or sister, but she caught this bacteria that in the end killed her and the baby.”  
“That’s awful.”, Merlin sympathised. 

“It was. Father was absolutely distraught. He seemed paralysed for some months, but all of a sudden he just started to focus on his work so much and I barely saw him at home. Don’t get me wrong, he always used to work a lot, but he was always home for dinner. All of a sudden he never was. He would stay in London for weeks on end and be home for only a few days at a time. He became a lot colder after my mother died.” 

Merlin looked at Arthur with a pitying look. His mother was quite broken after his father died as well, or so he heard. However, she had never abandoned Merlin like that.   
“Oh, Merlin. Don’t look at me like that. I turned out alright didn’t I?”, Arthur joked to lighten the mood.   
Merlin, catching on to what Arthur was trying to do, rebuked: “Well, I don’t actually know you that well. I’ll let you know when I found out.” 

Arthur shoved Merlin’s arm playfully. “Talking about getting to know each other. It’s your turn to tell your sad story.”   
“There isn’t much to tell.”, Merlin started.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dearies!   
> Sorry I'm a day late...  
> Things have been rather... difficult in my life lately and I've been incredibly busy/ ininspired.   
> So, bear with me if the next update, takes a bit :)
> 
> Enjoy!

Merlin told Arthur how his mother and his father married for love as well. The difference was that where Balinor Emrys came from an ancient and very rich family, Hunith did not. She was a teacher at the village girls’ school.  
They met when Mr Emrys was surveying the two schools to see if any improvements were needed. Balinor liked her for her spirit and her strong opinions– especially those on the aristocracy. She was unlike any lady that he had ever been introduced to and he was sure to work hard to get her favour and her love. 

“So, your grandparents agreed to the match?”, Arthur asked astonished.   
“Neither my grandparents were alive anymore at the time.”, Merlin answered. Seeing Arthur’s shocked face he added:” I suppose the Emrys family has a bit of a bad track record when it comes to growing old. We all seem to die prematurely.” 

“I hope that’s not true for you.”, Arthur said earnestly.   
“I’m sure not.”, Merlin chuckled. “After all, I was mixed with the strong Brown race. My uncle Gaius lived up to 95.”  
“Well, that’s reassuring, lets get back to your story though. Your parents married without much resistance then?”

“Not exactly. Some of my father’s direct family was strongly opposed to the match, but my father was already the lord of Ealdor Abby, so there really wasn’t much they could do.”  
“I don’t have many concrete memories of him, as I was only three when he died, but I know that when he was alive, he spend as much time with me and mum as he possibly could. My nanny barely had to work at all, what with my mum wanting to do it all herself.”

“What do you think about your mother re-marrying so soon?”

“Well, being as young as I was I didn’t really gather much of what was happening. When I grew older and it was obvious that Gorlois was never going to treat me as a real member of his family, there were times that I was very angry and resentful. Not just to him, but to my mother as well. At one point I was resolved to live with my uncle Gaius and he explained to me why my mother re-married.”

“When a man loses his wife, people pity him. ‘How will he go on with his life?’, people will ask themselves.   
If he doesn’t re-marry it is seen as a romantic act, and if he does, he is seen as strong and still so full of life. However, if a woman loses her husband at a young age, like my mother did, people will feel spiteful towards her whatever she does. If she does not re-marry she must become a sad old widow, and if she does she can’t have loved her husband very much.”

“My mother was very aware of the fact that her having married into such a rich family would bring her under scrutinising eyes. My father had made me the heir of his fortune, but I was not to fully inherit until my eighteenth birthday. My mother was afraid that we would fall into poverty if she did not re-marry, so when Gorlois paid her attention she figured he would do as well as any man.” 

Arthur understood very well, the decisions that Merlin’s mother had made. In a way he was sad for her that they had been made out of necessity rather than free will.   
“I am glad you and your mother seem to be very close now. It is important for family to stick together.”, Arthur commented.   
“Indeed, we are. As I’ve grown up, I have learned to see her apart from Gorlois.”   
“How come your sister is the way she is? With your mother being her mother also.”  
Merlin chuckled. “Gorlois didn’t want my mother to be much involved in Morgana’s upbringing. He doesn’t think it right for a lady to be so involved with her children when a nanny can do perfectly well. Somehow Morgana’s character has turned out to be much more like her father’s because of that.”

*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

As Arthur got up to join Gwaine and Percival in their sport, the two couples came back from their walk. Lancelot was immediately expected to join the game as well, making it a double game. 

“Don’t you want to play with the men?”, Guinevere asked Merlin with a concerned look on her face. “They’re not shutting you out are they?”

“Oh, no I’d probably only be in the way. I was not made to play sports, hunt or do anything remotely manly ever.”, Merlin smiled in Gwen’s direction. “I’m afraid I’m rather a disgrace to my gender.”

“On the contrary!”, Gwen exclaimed. “You’re such a darling! And rather a breath of fresh air from all those arrogant men who think they are so much more capable than women. They’re all so competitive, always boasting about something or other.”   
“Surely they don’t think you’re incapable!”, Merlin said, nodding towards the men.   
Gwen chuckled. “No they don’t, but that’s only because Mith and I trained them well.” 

Merlin laughed at that response. He liked Gwen- and Mithian for that matter; neither of them was very conventional. They were both educated and strong women, they seemed independent enough that they didn’t necessarily need a husband. However, it was the mutual respect between husband and wife that made the two marriages work. It takes a certain kind of man to be with such a woman: he needs to be respectful and he has to believe in the equality of the sexes. By getting to know Gwen and Mithian, and knowing how amazing they were, Merlin just knew that Leon and Lancelot must be great men as well.   
If he himself were every to marry, he was sure it would be someone like Gwen and Mithian.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dearies!
> 
> First of all, SORRY FOR BEING SO LATE!!!  
> Now, let me continue to complain a bit about my busy work shedule and stuff :(   
> Next week I have a week off, which will allow me to write (hopefully) Also, my good friend Dani is coming over and I think she should bring whatever she writes on, so we can write together because I think I'll be able to do it better than.   
> (so if you read this, talk to me :P ) 
> 
> This entry isn't as long as I would like it to be because of the lack of time.. 
> 
> See you in 10-14 days!

Arthur was glad Merlin and Gwen seemed to be getting along. It looked like Gwen had adopted Merlin as some sort of pet, it was rather endearing to see her croon over the man. As much as he liked it, he was also a bit weary of it. The previous night she had made it clear that she wasn’t going to allow Arthur to hurt Merlin’s feelings.  
Arthur really wasn’t planning on that either. Like he said before, he liked Merlin. He really liked him! Perhaps he wasn’t as much of a seducer anymore. Perhaps Merlin was the man he wanted to really get to know, and to be with for a really long time to come.   
Would Gwen believe him if he told her though? 

Gwen had only every seen Arthur go through partners like Leon went through books. Okay maybe not quite as fast, but his relationships never lasted long.   
He didn’t exactly have the best track record.   
Obviously his relationships with men had always been secretive, but Gwen always knew about them and she knew there had been quite a few. There had been fewer women because Arthur would never be one to ruin a girl’s reputation like that.   
There was only one person that Arthur had stayed friends with after having a fling with them. 

When he had been in France for a few months “for language learning purposes” he had stared a fling with a young woman named Elena. She was very sweet and very beautiful, but knew how to take care of herself.   
Arthur and she had been very fond of each other, but when it became apparent to her that it was never going to become anything serious she broke it off.   
Of course there was also Gwaine, but he was as big a slut— if not bigger than Arthur. Even if he had been spending a lot of time with Percy again lately…  
Perhaps Percy was to Gwaine, what Merlin started to become to Arthur. 

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

When it was time to go back to the house Gwen and Mithian insisted on having Merlin in their carriage, as they were not quite finished with him. They were inquiring about Arthur’s imminent engagement to Morgana. 

“So, Arthur is supposed to marry your sister?”, Mithian asked in an amused tone.   
“Yes, that seems to be the plan. I’m surprised Arthur didn’t tell you about that.”   
Gwen and Mithian shared a look.   
“So, what’s she like?” Gwen asked.   
“Well”, Merlin started. “She’s…uhm… Unique?”

“Wow. Wow, Merlin that sounds very good.”, Mithian said sarcastically, looking at Merlin with a horror stricken face. “She can’t be that awful, right?”   
“I’m sure she’s not. I don’t think she actually looks forward to the match any more than Arthur does, but wouldn’t it therefore be better if she teamed up with him, rather than to set him up to despise her. If it’s the inevitable, wouldn’t it be wiser to become friendly with each other?” 

“Perhaps, but you have to give her some sympathy.”, Gwen answered. “She might just be harnessing herself against getting hurt.”   
“We don’t all get to choose who we marry, and arranged marriages don’t always work out well for a woman.”, Mithian added. 

Merlin couldn’t help but feel a little ashamed of himself. No one had ever taken the time to ask Morgana what she wanted. Perhaps that was his job, as her big brother. He made a mental note to talk to her when he got back from his trip with Arthur and his friends.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dearies!   
> I'M BACK!!!  
> sorry it's taken me so long to update again! This time you get a full 1k again :D   
> and don't worry! My head is brimming with inspiration for the story again, so I should be alright for the next few updates. 
> 
> Thanks for hanging in there! 
> 
> xxx

Darkness was falling. The second day spend at the house in the woods was nearly over. Everyone was still sitting outside, but now with coats and shawls to keep them warm. Gwaine and Arthur were building a fire to roast some sausages over. 

“What are we doing tomorrow?”, Leon inquired.   
“In the evening Gwaine, gets to show off how he looks in a dress.”, Mithian contributed before anyone could get a word in, with an amused smirk on her face.   
Arthur chuckled, punching Gwaine’s arm. “A sight we can’t wait to see.”   
“Alright, what’s happening during the day?”, Leon continued.   
“Not sure yet. Does anyone have an idea?”, Arthur answered.   
“We could have a picnic?”, Gwen suggested. “It’s supposed to cool down a bit tomorrow, so we’ll be fine to stay outside.”   
“We could always go by the lake and have a swim.”, Gwaine added.   
Arthur nodded in agreement. “Sounds like a plan.” 

********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

One by one everyone went to bed until only Arthur, Gwaine and Percival were left around the fire. Arthur had been dying to talk to the both of them since that afternoon, however it was Gwaine who first killed the silence.   
“So, does Merlin know yet?”, he asked with a sceptic look in Arthur’s direction.   
“Know what?”   
“Oh, well. You know, that you want to have cheeky bum-sex with him. That you want to touch willies and so forth.”, Gwaine responded in an irritated tone.   
Arthur looked sideways at his best friend, with an annoyed expression plastered to his face. 

“So, I’m guessing that you still don’t know where he stands on the particular subject?”, Gwaine continued.   
Arthur sighed. “I’m just not sure how to go about it Gwaine. I wish you would get off my back.”   
Gwaine put a sympathising hand on Arthur’s back. “I’m just afraid you’re going to get hurt if you don’t find out.”  
“Sure, but I don’t want to end up hurting him either. I like him. Gwen thinks Merlin likes me too, but that he isn’t aware of it or something.”, Arthur sulked.   
“mmmh…”, Gwaine started. “Why don’t you just sort of keep on dropping hints? Just drop all of your Pendragon charm on him tomorrow at the lake?”

“Or, you could just be frank with him and tell him about your feelings.”, Percival all of a sudden interjected.   
Arthur and Gwaine looked up at him, startled by Percy’s sudden words.  
“So, what you’re saying is, I should just go up to him and say:’Hey, Merlin! Glad to see you, I just want to tell you that I really think you’re an amazing person and I would really like to get naked with you!’”, Arthur responded sarcastically.   
Percy sighed. “Never mind then. I’m going up to bed. Are you coming too Gwaine?”  
“In a bit.”

“So…”, Arthur started hesitantly. “You and Percy huh?”   
“Yup.”, Gwaine answered, ducking his head. “I think it’s time to leave my sinful ways behind me. I guess I realised I love Perce.”   
“Isn’t homosexuality a sin as well?”, Arthur joked.   
Gwaine shoved his friend away. “You know what I mean you idiot! I might settle down with him.”   
Arthur was happy for him. He could understand how wild Gwaine fit together perfectly with serene Percival. “Do you think Percy is right? Do you think I should just tell him?”, he asked his best friend in earnest.   
“I don’t know.”, He answered. “I think you should wait a bit. I think you should continue to test the water, show your intension. Then, when you think he has it figured out, you talk to him.”   
“Yeah. Yeah that sounds like a good plan.” 

The fire was burning out and the two men went back inside. When Arthur was in his bed he lay awake for hours, going over different scenarios in his head, until he finally succumbed into a fitful sleep. 

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin woke up in a much nicer way. The air had become much less pressing, so there was much less of that drowsiness he had felt the morning before.   
He jumped out of bed and washed himself with the water in the basin on his dressing table. He put on a navy blue shirt and tan trousers.   
His mother always told him that navy blue brought out his eyes. 

As he exited his room he saw Gwen and Lancelot kissing passionately just outside theirs. “Don’t mind me.”, He said cheerily, coaxing a jump out of the pair. When he looked back Lancelot was smiling love sick at his blushing wife.   
Merlin easily navigated his way towards the breakfast parlous to meet his friends. Most of them were already in there.   
Arthur smiled fondly at him from his seat. “You look nice Merlin.”   
“T- thanks!”, Merlin stammered. “My mum says navy blue brings out my eyes.”   
Realising what he had just said, Merlin blushed heavily; wishing he could sink into the ground. But Arthur just looked at him with a raised eyebrow in amusement and a grin breaking through.   
Merlin noticed how soft Arthur looked, the sunlight pouring in at just the right angle, his tousled hair and sleepy eyes. 

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur sat in the breakfast parlour, feeling like a zombie. He had slept, or had he? He wasn’t sure. Thankfully the day wouldn’t be that strenuous.   
As he took another much needed sip of his strong coffee, Merlin appeared in the doorway, looking unforgettable.   
He was wearing a navy blue shirt that made his eyes look like the deep blue evening sky. He could be mistaken due to fatigue, but Arthur was almost positive he could even see some stars in Merlin’s eyes.   
“You look nice Merlin.”   
The words came out of his mouth before he even knew it. And to make things worse, he could feel a soppy smile spread over his face. Oh god, Arthur thought. 

“T- thanks!”, Merlin replied him, surprise apparent on his face. “My mum says navy blue brings out my eyes.”

She’s right, Arthur thought as he raised his eyebrow amused. Thankfully Merlin could always be trusted upon to out-idiot him. 

Just as Merlin sat down Gwen and Lancelot came in, both grinning widely. “What are you too so disgustingly happy about?”, Gwaine asked.   
“What? Can’t a person just be perfectly happy about life without it being weird?”  
“No. No. It’s just plain unnatural Gwen. Just plain unnatural!”, Gwaine yelled out dramatically, with the added bonus of crazy eyes and a fist in the air; emitting laughs from everyone. Gwen slapped the back of his head in retort.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey dearies!   
> Here I am again! We're over 10K :O   
> Idk, I'm pretty proud of myself :P   
> I am probably going to do away with the 10-14 days between each entry, cause I just can't promise that right now. 
> 
> If you are still reading along, THANKS SO MUCH!!  
> If you have just joined: THANKS SO MUCH!!
> 
> Have fun reading and be sure to let me know what you think :)

After breakfast Leon and Lancelot went to the kitchen to fetch two stuffed picnic baskets and blankets to sit on. When the two men returned, everyone went on their way to walk towards the lake where they were to have their relaxing day in the sun. 

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

The lake was situated in a beautiful meadow, surrounded by trees. The edge of the meadow was packed with white and lilac wildflowers.   
Merlin felt calm feelings wash over him as he stepped out of the shadows, into the sunshine.   
As the others were laying out the various blankets, Arthur drew his strong arm around Merlin’s shoulders. “It’s nice here, isn’t it?”, He asked Merlin.   
Merlin involuntarily leaned into the touch, the sun making him feel lazy. He hummed in agreement. 

Everyone started toeing of their shoes and the men rolled up their trouser legs. Merlin walked into the evenly sloping lake until he was in calve deep. The water had an earthy colour, but Merlin could easily spot the bottom of the pool. The water was divine. 

“Will you go for a swim with me later, Merlin?”, Arthur called out from his laying position on the grass.   
Merlin turned around, burying his toes in the sand. “I think so, yes.”, he answered, smiling back at his blond friend.   
Arthur’s hair looked so beautiful in the sunlight. Merlin felt like he strangely couldn’t get enough of the golden glow that surrounded Arthur.   
When he got out of the water, Merlin sat himself down next to Arthur. He laid down with his hands behind his head, bathing in the sunshine. 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

A cool breeze relieved the sun’s heath and birds chirped in the trees. Arthur was sure there wasn’t a more peaceful place on earth right that moment. Mithian and Gwen were reading a ladies’ magazine together, Leon and Lancelot were discussing something important and Gwaine was reading the balcony scene to Percy. Arthur himself had shamelessly been reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. He wouldn’t read such novels at home, with his father in sight, but he secretly enjoyed romance novels immensely. He was trying to compare the characters to himself. Arthur didn’t think Merlin and he were like Elizabeth and Darcy; they were perhaps more like Jane and Bingley, but less innocent. Or at least Arthur was less innocent. And Merlin had more hairs on his chest than Jane. Too bad no one was egging them on to get married…

Soft snoring pulled Arthur from his book. As he looked to his right he noticed Merlin had succumbed into dreamland; one leg underneath the other and his arms behind his head. His hair had fallen slightly across his eyes, the sight made Arthur’s fingers itch. He slowly lifted his hand and carefully swept Merlin’s raven hair out of his eyes. Arthur was surprised by the heath that came from his friend’s hair. He weaved his fingers through the thick, black locks, feeling Merlin lean in to the touch.   
Arthur quickly extracted his fingers from Merlin’s hair and pretended to read as Merlin woke up, blinking his blue eyes. “Was I asleep?”, he inquired with a sleepy voice.   
“Yeah, you were.”, Arthur answered. “It’s easy to fall asleep in this warmth, isn’t it?”  
“Yeah.” Merlin stretched himself languidly. 

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Gwaine suddenly jumped up from his place. “Time for lunch!”, he declared. 

In the baskets supplied by Arthur’s adorable little cook were an array of cheeses, cold meats, fruit and bread.   
Gwaine distributed plates and cutlery amongst his friends and poured everyone a glass of juice or wine. “Well aren’t you just the perfect gentleman”, Mithian joked.   
“Anything for my loved ones.”, Gwaine answered with a deep bow. 

Merlin popped a piece of strong smelling camembert on bread in his mouth and hummed around the strong flavour, closing his eyes in rapture. “You like cheese?”, Gwaine asked.   
“Hmmhmm.”, Merlin replied. “This camembert is so good. I want to marry it!”   
“I think that will disappoint a great number of people Merlin”, Gwaine joked, looking at Arthur.   
“I don’t think anyone will want to marry me anyway if I smell like cheese.”, Merlin replied while stuffing his face with another piece of the delicious cheese. 

Arthur looked between Gwaine and Merlin. Was this a solution? Could he have Merlin and Gwaine bond over food? Really? 

After a couple of glasses of wine, Gwaine jumped up once again. “Merlin, toss those grapes in my mouth!” He walked a few metres away from Merlin and opened up wide. He quickly winked mischievously at Arthur.   
Merlin got up as well, downing his wine and grabbing a hand full of the succulent grapes. “Alright, you ready?”  
“I was born ready!”, Gwaine roared. 

Merlin took his time aiming at Gwaine’s mouth, sticking out the point of his tongue in concentration. He drew his arm back and threw the grape in a perfect arc right in Gwaine’s…. eye.   
A disappointed groan erupted from the crowd as Gwaine rubbed his eye. Merlin stood doubled over in laughter at the sight.   
“Let me, let me try again! I can do this!”   
“I don’t know man. I like to have two functioning eyes.”, Gwaine replied in between laughing.   
“Okay, you try me then! We’ll take turns.”, Merlin said as he handed Gwaine the grapes.   
Gwaine took his stance, now in control of grape-throwing.   
“3, 2, 1!”, he threw the grape towards Merlin, who made a dramatic dive and landed next to Arthur, triumphantly chewing the grape to the sound of everyone’s cheers.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter comes with a slight mention of nudity warning :) 
> 
> Hello dearies!   
> I'm back after only 7 days! :D I've actually been writing more frequently as my therapist is making me change my sleepschedule in such a way that it is healthier. This means going to sleep slightly later than my usual 7.30...   
> This gives me more time to write thought! I'm trying to make myself write at least 200 words per day.
> 
> Anyway, Enjoy!

When everyone had had their fill, Arthur wanted to go for a swim. Mithian, Leon, Lancelot and Gwen went for a walk in the shade. Arthur stripped himself of his shirt and trousers, revealing a strong back and an endless pair of legs. Merlin looked at Arthur with some envy, he had secretly always wished he were broader. He wasn’t unhappy with his physique, but he wasn’t exactly build like Adonis either, unlike Arthur.

Before Arthur had the chance to fully walk into the water Gwaine ran, stark naked, past him while uttering a primal roar. Percy quickly followed, splashing Arthur. The two naked men dived below the surface and stayed there for what seemed like a while.

“You coming in Merlin?”, Arthur asked. Merlin contemplated whether or not he should go completely naked. Arthur had kept on his underpants, but Gwaine and Percy hadn’t… What if the ladies suddenly came back? He didn’t have long to think; suddenly a pair of soaked underpants were hurled his way. “Come on then!” _Well._ Merlin thought. _I guess that answers my question._ He tried to quickly undo the buttons on his shirt, not really succeeding. He was nervous about this. He wasn’t sure why, but he guessed it was about the fact that he had never taken a naked swim with others. Eventually he got out of his shirt and trousers, just his underpants were left now. He looked up unsure, and met three pairs of eyes.

“I think we have to turn around.”, Gwaine snickered. Merlin knew that he was making fun of him but he didn’t really care, he was just happy about the fact that they allowed him some privacy. Merlin could feel an involuntary blush spread all over his body as he took off his underpants. Despite the fact that no one was looking he shielded his privates with his hands to the best of his abilities, as he walked into the warm water.

“Okay, I’m in.” Gwaine cheered and as the three men turned around they splashed Merlin with water, who joined in the water fight laughing loudly.

 **********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 Merlin was floating around the lake on his back, again half asleep. After some fooling around in the water with the other guys he wasn’t feeling so self-conscious anymore. In the end they all had the same attributes right? He was probably going to be horribly sunburned tomorrow due to the water reflecting the sun onto him the way it was, but he didn’t really care. He was so comfortable floating around with this eyes closed.

“I guess I understand what you see in him now. Have you seen him naked before?”, Gwaine whispered to Arthur as he looked at Merlin’s floating, naked figure. “Shut it Gwaine”, Arthur said while hitting Gwaine, “that’s disgusting. Don’t look at him like that.”   
“I’m just saying. He’s not bad looking at all.”   
“Ugh, stop it.”, Arthur said, and he dunked Gwaine’s head underwater.

He didn’t want Gwaine to talk about Merlin like that, like he was some object. Arthur knew that what he was thinking was rather hypocritical, he’d been doing it himself. It just sounded so much worse when people actually said these things out loud. Gwaine was right though. Merlin did look good. Having this full view of him in broad day light was quite something. His pectorals, his soft looking abdomen, his --. Arthur had the curtesy to blush at the sight and the thought. He couldn’t bear it. Arthur dived under the surface of the water and swam towards Merlin’s figure. As he swam right below him he jumped up, and dunked Merlin under.

The raven-haired man yelled in surprise and shock as he was suddenly woken up from his peaceful floating. As he came back to the surface he spluttered and hit his attacker across the chest. “Arthur! What the hell!”

Merlin looked at Arthur with his arms crossed, pouting. The handsome blond man started laughing boisterously and made Merlin’s scowl slowly change into a smile as well. “You’re gonna pay for that.”, he promised Arthur.   
“I just tried to save you from getting sunburned, Merlin.”, Arthur responded with a smug smile.   
“Oh yeah?” Merlin said as he jumped Arthur’s back trying to dunk him under water, completely forgetting their nudity.

As Merlin jumped on his back Arthur felt _everything_. He involuntarily started to harden to the feel of Merlin’s naked body flush against his own. Panicking, he quickly tried to get Merlin off his back. When he finally succeeded he quickly dashed out of the lake. “Arthur”, Merlin yelled after him. “what are you doing?”   
“I’m done”, Arthur replied quietly.   
“I’m sorry, Arthur. You’re not angry are you? You started it.”, Merlin said quietly, wondering what he had done wrong.

When Arthur got to dry land Merlin saw the reason for the blonde’s panic. A blush crept over his entire body like wildfire and he quickly dived under water to escape the sight. In his playfulness he had completely forgotten about their nudity. A warm feeling pooled in his lower abdomen as he thought about the fact that he had just had his full front against Arthur’s back. Why did Arthur’s body react like that? Why did his own?   
Merlin came up to the surface, gasping for air. He was feeling hot all over as he too quickly walked out of the water. As he looked back to see where Gwaine and Percy were he saw them intimately embraced in the far end of he lake. Merlin furrowed his brows. _What the hell is this?_ He thought to himself.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dearies!  
> Aren't I one time? :D   
> Here's part 11 of Some Call it Destiny :)   
> Warning: Small mention of homophobia

After both Arthur and Merlin had gotten dressed they both sat down on blankets as far away from each other as possible, the awkwardness made the air feel heavy.   
Just after Gwaine and Percy had gotten out as well Gwen, Lance, Leon and Mithian came back from their walk through the forest as well. “I think it’s time to go back”, Lance said. “The wind is picking up and it looks like it’s finally going to rain.”   
“Right”, Arthur replied as he started packing the picnic baskets.

On their way back to the house Merlin took his place walking next to Gwen. “Did you have a nice swim?”, She asked.   
When Merlin didn’t reply but continued to stare ahead with a blank expression she linked her arm through his and his eyes snapped to hers as if out of a trance.   
“What was that?”, he asked.   
“I was asking you whether you had a nice swim. Are you quite alright?” Merlin smiled fondly at her. “I am, really. And I did have a nice swim, thank you.”   
“Alright”, Gwen replied, not sounding very convinced at all. When they all got back to the house everyone went upstairs to get refreshed before dinner. Before Arthur could get away, Gwen grabbed his arm in a steel grip. “Not so fast mister”.

When everyone else was out of earshot she continued: “Merlin didn’t seem much like himself when we returned from our walk, and neither did you actually. What’s happened?” Arthur sighed. “I’m sick of you constantly trying to protect Merlin, Gwen. I’m not out to hurt him and he’s not some child who can’t protect himself.”   
“Arthur, I’m not just trying to protect him from getting hurt”, Gwen said, “but you as well. Now stop being stupid and tell me what’s made you two such sourpusses.”   
They sat down on the soft sofa in the drawing room. “Tell me.”, Gwen insisted.   
“I went into the water and then Gwaine ran past me completely naked and so did Percy so I figured I might get rid of my last bit of clothing as well. Merlin then followed as well.”, He started. Gwen looked at him with an expression of smug disapproval. “Gwaine made some kind of crude comment about Merlin’s body”, Arthur continued. “so I went over to him to dunk him under so Gwaine wouldn’t be looking at him anymore and then Merlin tried to dunk me under and my body responded to that and I think he noticed and everything was weird all of a sudden…”, he quickly rambled.   
“Oh sweety”, Gwen started, pity apparent in her voice. “So, you think he doesn’t like you that way?”   
Arthur shrugged petulantly. “Maybe he was just shocked?”, Gwent tried.   
Arthur sighed. “You didn’t see him after that Gwen. He looked almost angry, or betrayed or something.”   
“What do you mean?”   
“He was just staring ahead of himself while we were waiting for you to return, looking like he was very actively ignoring us. The look on his face just seemed so bitter and angry, he looked completely changed.”  
Gwen pushed Arthur’s bangs out of his face with motherly care. “I’m staying with what I just said. I bet he was just shocked by your reaction to his naked body against yours. Just leave him be for a bit and I’m sure it will turn out alright.” Arthur laid his head on Gwen’s shoulder. “Thanks Gwen. I don’t know what I’d do without you mother-henning me around.”   
“You’d all be horribly lost.”, she responded.

**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin splashed some water in his face from the basin on his dressing table. Dinner had been an awkward affair for him, he felt as though he couldn’t look Arthur or Gwaine in the eye. He really didn’t want to go downstairs again for Gwaine’s stupid display after losing the pool game to Mithian.   
During lunch it had looked like they would become friends after all, but after what Merlin had seen in the lake he wasn’t sure whether he even wanted to be friends with someone like that. Merlin was pulled out of his reverie by the sudden sound of a summer storm rain against his windows. It had finally started raining, like Lancelot had said it would. There was a knock on his door. “Merlin, are you coming? Gwaine’s about to start”, Leon’s voice said from outside the door.   
When Merlin walked into the drawing room and took a seat next to Leon an Mithian, two exquisitely decorated dressing screens were set up with a few feet from the chairs. Everyone sat on their chairs, silently awaiting Gwaine’s entrance. Suddenly Gwaine entered the drawing room dressed in a long skirt- kept together by a tie, as Gwaine was too broad to be able to close it. He wore one of his own shirts, stuffed with something to make it look like he had enormous breasts. On top of his head was a large pink hat, that had large flowers attached to it. Merlin tried his best not to laugh along with the others, but to instead stare stoically ahead.

Gwaine disappeared behind the dressing screens and appeared behind it from the torso up, making it look like he was standing on a balcony.   
“O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?”, He started in a high, dramatic voice. “Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet. ‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy;-- thou art thyself though, not a Montague. What’s Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Percival suddenly got up from his seat to complete the scene with Gwaine, as the Romeo to his Juliet and they ended the scene with Percival grabbing a chair to stand up in front of Gwaine’s ‘balcony’ and deeply kissed Gwaine full on the lips. The small crowd broke into applause and Arthur whistled excitedly.   
As the sound of thunder suddenly entered the house, Merlin got up and stormed out of the room. Arthur’s eyes followed Merlin out of the room and then made eye contact with Gwaine, who looked at him with a look of pity and anger.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dearies! 
> 
> Chapter 12! whoohoo! The story is starting to pick up a bit, i'm especially excited about chapter 13, but you'll have to be patient :)   
> I'm currently also doing a secret santa fanfiction thingy, so I might be busy doing that for the moment. But I'll post that on AO3 when it's finished as well.
> 
> For the next few entries there's a bit of a homophobia warning. 
> 
> xx

When Merlin woke up the next morning, there was nothing left of the sunshine that had warmed up the country over the past week. When he looked out of the window the sight perfectly represented his mood. Rain was still beating down hard and the sky looked grey and dreary, it was a stark contrast to the last few days.   
Merlin wasn’t feeling like facing everyone just yet. He rang for George to bring him breakfast in his room. After he’d had breakfast he wrote a letter to his mom and when he’d finished doing that he continued in the book he’d brought. Completely unaware of what was going on in the rest of the house, Merlin thus spend his morning.

Just after he’d heard the grandfather clock in the hall chime three times there was a knock at his door, Gwen and Mithian entered without waiting for Merlin to let them in.   
“Hey Merlin”, Gwen started, “isn’t it time to come out of your room?”   
Merlin couldn’t stand their pitying looks. “Why?”, he asked.   
“Oh, come on!”, Mithian said, while pulling on Merlin’s arm. “Stop being so gloomy and come drink downstairs with us! We’re all getting delightfully drunk!”   
“Yes”, Gwen continued, “and Lance and I want to tell everyone something, and we want you there as well.” Reluctantly Merlin followed the two ladies downstairs to the drawing room.

The two ladies set Merlin down on the love seat next to Arthur. Merlin felt his whole right side tense up as electricity seemed to charge in the small space between them.

Gwen and Lancelot stood up in front of everyone and Lance scraped his throat to get everyone’s attention.   
“Now that you’re all listening, Gwen and I would like to tell you all something that has made us very happy. We—“ “We’re pregnant!”, Gwen cut him off.   
Arthur clapped his hands together, making Merlin jump. “Finally!”, he exclaimed. “I’m so happy for you!”. He got up, kissed Gwen on both cheeks and gave Lance a hearty handshake. Leon was next to congratulate the couple. “Well done Lance!”, he said winking at his friend.   
“How far are you along?”, Mithian inquired.   
“Three months”, Gwen replied. “we wanted to wait with telling you until we were sure it would keep.”

“I’m so happy this is finally happening for you.”, Gwaine said, hugging Gwen gently.

Finally Merlin got up to congratulate the parents-to-be. “I’m sure you two will be the best parents any child could ever wish for.”

Bottles of champagne were opened for those who were not pregnant and both Merlin and Arthur soon were able to put their doubts and fears about each other aside.

“We need some music!”, Mithian declared. Arthur and Leon got up to get the large phonograph and a small chest containing the recordings.

Merlin sat sprawled on the sofa, too drunk already to sit up straight. A pleasant buzz filled his body as he watched everyone dance. Mithian walked up to him,   
“Come dance with Arthur Merlin, he doesn’t have a partner.”   
“I can’t”, Merlin replied, dragging his vowels. “I’m too durnk—uh, drunk. Besides, I never learned”.   
“Didn’t you go to Oxford?”, Arthur asked him. “Don’t they teach you to dance over there?”   
“Nope”, Merlin replied, followed by a stream of giggles.   
“I’ll teach you”, Arthur said, his tone serious. Merlin started giggling again.   
“You can’t teach me, silly!”   
“And why’s that?”, Arthur inquired, raising an eyebrow at his drunken friend.   
“Because we’re two men of course! How do we decide who leads?”   
Arthur rolled his eyes. “I’ll lead, I’m the teacher.”   
“Okay, but keep your hands to yourse-helf.”, Merlin replied, wiggling his finger at Arthur.

Arthur hoisted Merlin off of the sofa, rolling his eyes at the drunk man, and grabbed Merlin’s left hand. He laid Merlin’s hand on his right shoulder. He then took Merlin’s right hand in his left and placed his own right hand on Merlin’s waist. Arthur’s heart started racing as he looked into Merlin’s misty eyes. He wetted his suddenly dry lips and scraped his throat. “Okay, when I step forwards, you step backwards yes?”   
“I don’t think I can do this right now Arthur, I have had way too much to drink”, Merlin replied, sounding a bit more sober now.   
“Just follow me, it will be alright. It’s okay if you step on my feet.”

Arthur awkwardly started stepping with Merlin in tow, constantly counting the beats with him. After one song Merlin got the hang of it and Arthur started twirling him round the room, grabbing his waist a little tighter and brining Merlin’s chest closer to his own. The drawing room, filled with couples dancing to the music and the thunder, almost made it look like a ball.

Merlin felt a lot more sober again and his chest tightened as he got closer to Arthur’s. The place were Arthur’s hand touched his side felt as if it were on fire and his own hand holding on to Arthur’s shoulder felt tempted to slide over to his neck. As Arthur spun him around on a rise in the music, a warm feeling spread through Merlin’s belly. Panic lunged through him and he quickly let go.

“I’m—I’m gonna go to bed. The champagne has made my head heavy.”, Merlin said in excuse. He bowed his head as he felt a blush creep up on his cheeks.

Arthur followed Merlin out of the drawing room. “Merlin, are you alright? Did I do anything wrong?”   
“No, you didn’t. It’s me, don’t worry about it.”, Merlin replied, not meeting Arthur’s eye. “Thanks for teaching me how to dance.” Merlin looked up at Arthur, braving a small smile. “Even though I only know how to follow now, it was fun. Goodnight”   
“Goodnight”, Arthur replied, feeling a bit confused.

When he returned to the drawing room everyone had stopped dancing. “Is Merlin alright?”, Lance inquired.   
“Yeah, he was just a bit dizzy from the alcohol and the spinning I think.”, Arthur replied.

One by one everyone went to their respective bedrooms to sleep to the steady sound of the rain beating hard on the windows.

 **********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

When Merlin got inside his bedroom he leaned against the closed door. _I shouldn’t have had so much alcohol,_ he thought to himself. _I should never have danced with Arthur and I shouldn’t react to him the way I do!_ He dragged his fingers through his hair and walked over to his window, when he opened the window rain splattered on his face. The cool wind calmed Merlin somewhat and he walked over to his dresser to change into a vest and a clean pair of pants. The air in his room had cooled down considerably, but it was still too warm to wear full pyjamas.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: mention of homophobia and mention of abuse.
> 
> Hello Dearies,
> 
> I'm sorry it's taken me so long to upload a new chapter.   
> I've been very busy and uni is being quite hecktic.   
> I am leaving for England in a month to intern at a boarding school. Unfortunately the boarding school is quite strict on what sites I'm allowed to visit and AO3 is on the ban-list... :/ While I'm in England my good friend Dani is going to upload for me, so I can still keep the story going :) 
> 
> Enjoy! x

As Merlin laid down on his bed he started thinking. He couldn’t let this happen again! He wouldn’t go through that hurt again that came with having disgusting and bad thoughts.   
When he was about fourteen years old, Merlin started drawing more than just portraits. One day he had secretly been looking at himself in the mirror and he’d become incredibly fascinated with his own body. Whenever he saw other men he found himself imagining what they would look like without the layers of clothing. Thus began a string of drawings of naked men of all shapes and sizes.   
Merlin felt like what he was doing was probably wrong, so he hid the drawings underneath his matrass. At night he would often get a drawing out and secretly touched himself, stroking himself into completion, thinking about his drawings coming to life. Afterwards he would always feel incredibly guilty and dirty, but he couldn’t stop doing it.

He continued like that for about two years until one day, when Merlin returned from his lessons, he found Gorlois in his room holding his drawings. Gorlois had told him to close the door and Merlin felt like Gorlois was surely going to murder him for this. When he had closed the door, his stepfather held up the drawings. “What is this filth? Who made this?”, he demanded in an angry tone. “And don’t you dare lie to me!”   
“I—I made them.”, Merlin started, his voice breaking and trembling. Upon his answer Gorlois had hit Merlin hard across the face, splitting his lip.   
“You know what this is you dirty faggot?!”, Gorlois continued in his rage. “This is perverted filth and I will not have this in my house! It is illegal for a man to love another man and it is disgusting! If I ever see you just as much as look at a man queerly, I will make sure it is the last thing you’ll ever see! Is that clear?!”   
“Yes sir”, Merlin had replied, tears swimming in his eyes. Gorlois lowered his voice, trying to sound nicer. “I am trying to protect you from sinning Merlin. God has made you to be with a woman one day. If you give in to such perverted thoughts, you will surely end up in hell.”

Merlin had heeded Gorlois’ words and had started concentrating on reading and studying. The only things he painted or drew were landscapes or portraits of ladies. At night it was more difficult to repress those disgusting thoughts, but Merlin was determent to stay on the straight and narrow. Now however, now it was starting to be more and more difficult again. Arthur had stumbled into Merlin’s life and he had messed everything up.

Merlin couldn’t possibly sleep. His hands were aching to touch himself, to touch Arthur. He wondered what Arthur’s lips would taste like— He jumped out of bed as forbidden thoughts entered his mind. Merlin lit the candle on his bedside table, put on his bathrobes and carried the candle with him out of the door, into the dark corridors of the house. Merlin made his way into the small library and lit a few of the oil lamps.   
He opted for a beautiful, leather bound copy of Charles Dickens’ ‘A Child’s History of Great Britain’, reading facts calmed Merlin down. It was hard to really keep his focus on the book, but after a while he was sunk so deep into the prose that he didn’t notice anyone entering the library.

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur still sat in the drawing room some time after everyone else had left for their beds, his head heavy with thought. Somehow he didn’t really believe that Merlin’s reaction could be blamed solely on his drinking. It had been so nice to hold the pale man in his arms like that; inching closer with every beat, like magnets pulling each other in. Had Merlin felt it too? Had he freaked out because of it?

Eventually he got up and got to his bedroom. When he set down his candle on top of his dresser he quickly stripped himself down to his underpants. Arthur plonked himself down on his comfortable four-poster bed, but quickly decided he couldn’t sleep. Frustrated, he jumped up again and slipped on his bathrobes. As Arthur roamed the halls of his holiday home he noticed light coming from the library. _Who’s up besides me at this time?,_ he wondered. As quietly as he could Arthur tip-toed towards the open library door and as he stood in the doorway he saw Merlin sitting in one of the large, cosy chairs with his legs propped up and a book balanced on his knees. He didn’t seem to see Arthur coming in.

“What are you reading?”, Arthur asked softly. Merlin looked up, startled by the sudden company. “Oh. Arthur, you’re still up.”   
“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep. So what are you reading?”, Arthur inquired while walking towards where his friend was sitting. Merlin seemed timid to Arthur, like he wasn’t meeting his eyes. So he grabbed another one of the large chairs and pushed it closer to where Merlin was sitting. He decided that he didn’t like the way the air around them had changed over the past two days. He had to talk to Merlin. He didn’t want him to seem so scared of him anymore.

“I’m reading A Child’s History of Great Britain”, Merlin answered quietly. “Facts make me feel better.” Arthur decided to push Merlin a bit. “Make you feel better about what?”

Merlin looked at Arthur. He didn’t want to do this anymore, he had to talk to someone about his vile feelings. Perhaps Arthur wouldn’t judge him so harshly for it. He didn’t seem to judge Gwaine and Percival… The blond man saw Merlin’s eyes fill with emotion.

“What is it Merlin? You can talk to me.”   
“It’s just,”, Merlin looked down again, feeling physically unable to keep eye-contact with Arthur. “I’m sick Arthur.

“What do you mean, you’re sick?”, Arthur asked, alarmed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dearies!
> 
> It's been over a month and I'm so sorry! I hope you guys haven't lost hope :P   
> I've had a tough month with a lot of uni work and crying.... which is why this entry is as tiny as it is :(  
> I'm leaving for England in two days and I won't be able to upload anything myself, so I've asked my friend to do that for me :) This does mean that my posts will be once a month, but I will try to make them longer in turn. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Ever since I was young I have had these disgusting thoughts”, Merlin continued. “At first I wasn’t fully aware of the harm of it, but Gorlois made sure that I knew when he found out.”

Arthur frowned, he didn’t fully understand what Merlin was talking about. “What thoughts Merlin?”

Merlin continued to look anywhere but at Arthur. “I mean thoughts about men.”, he said quietly.

“I don’t know what Gorlois put into your mind, but let me tell you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you Merlin.” Arthur gently grabbed Merlin by his arms, making the raven haired man face him. Merlin tried half-heartedly to wriggle himself from Arthur’s gentle but steel grip.   
“Merlin”, Arthur began, while lifting Merlin’s chin up so he could look into his eyes. “Merlin, you must never think of yourself as sick. Do you think loving someone is bad? Is something disgusting?” Merlin struggled to keep in the tears that were so close to rolling down his flushed cheeks.   
“Love is not something disgusting in itself. Of course not. But two people of the same sex, that is just wrong Arthur, isn’t it?”

Arthur’s heart broke, hearing Merlin talk like that; like he was ill and disgusting. Right then and there he decided to make it his mission to turn Merlin’s mind around, so he’d never have to hurt again.

“Merlin”, he started. “I want you to sit back down and tell me exactly how you were made to believe that, so I can then make sure you will never every believe that about yourself ever again.”

Merlin sat back down, suddenly looking very tired.

“I don’t know if I can tell you all right now Arthur”, he sighed. “I’m tired, but I will tell you some. I just want you to understand why I’ve been so weird over the last two days. You make me feel things I was told I shouldn’t feel and I don’t know how to feel at all. You and all of your friends all seem so very accepting and non-judgemental. Tell me if I’m wrong, but are Gwaine and Percival a couple?”

Arthur blushed in response. So _he_ made Merlin feel all kinds of things? “I suppose we are a liberal bunch. I have never been told that loving men was wrong. I suppose I’ve picked up that it’s regarded as such by the majority of people and I would rather die than have father find out, but my friends have never had any difficulties with it and having Gwaine, someone with similar experiences, as one of my best friends is incredibly helpful. I’ve always been able to share my doubts and fears with him and I’m so sorry that you’ve never had that.”

Merlin looked up, seeming relieved to have gotten some of it out of the way. "I guess I'm glad you now know some of it Arthur, but can you please not tell the others? I'm not ready for that yet."

"Of course I won't", Arthur answered. "I want you to be able to tell them yourself when you're ready."

Merlin nodded, a small, rueful smile played on his lips. "I'm going to go back to bed now I think." 

"Are you coming on the hunt tomorrow?", Arthur inquired.

"I don't think I am. Hunting's never really been my thing. I'll stay here and keep Gwen company, is that okay?"

********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin and Arthur walked out of the library together. Arthur kept a safe distance, not wanting to ruin things. When they reached Merlin's doorway, Arthur grabbed Merlin's shoulder to get his attention. "Just so you know, you can talk to me if you need to. You know where my room is."   
Merlin looked up gratefully, his heart beating fast for Arthur's touch. "Thanks. Goodnight Arthur."

"Goodnight".

 

As Arthur reached his own door it suddenly hit him.  _Did Merlin just tell him he had feelings for him?_  
His eyes widened and his pulse started racing. Without thinking he almost ran back to Merlin's room, barging in without knocking.

"Didyoujustsayyouhavefeelingsforme?!", he blurted out. Merlin turned around, looking shocked. After a few seconds of tense silence he gave an almost untracable nod.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?", Arthur asked breathlessly.   
Merlin turned red and looked down. "No, I haven't", he whispered.

"Can I please kiss you?", Arthur asked desperately.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dearies!
> 
> It's been a month :) So here's finally a new installment of our story.   
> I'm pretty busy, but I know where I want the story to go for a bit, so more next month.  
> Please let me know what you think :)
> 
> xx

Feelings of panic and excitement raced through Merlin’s mind like a surge of lightning. He knew he wanted it, more than anything else, but should he? Would he regret it in the morning? 

Was his want greater than his fear of what others would think? 

After what seemed like an eternity to Arthur, Merlin slowly stepped towards him, having pulled together all his bravery. “I want you to kiss me more than anything in this world Arthur”, he admitted, blushing hard. “but you must know that I’m terrified. I’m terrified of what I’m going to feel. I’m terrified of what people would think of me if they found out. I’m terrified of what I’ll think of myself in the morning…”

Arthur nodded, taking Merlin’s hands in his. “I know Merlin. I can’t say that your fears are irrational, or that it’s going to be easy to give yourself over to your feelings, because it’s not. But I promise you that I’m going to try my hardest to protect you from the world and even from yourself if I have to.” Arthur guided Merlin’s hands to his shoulders, resting them there and finding the weight comforting. 

Merlin instinctively wetted his lips with his tongue as he looked in Arthur’s eyes, straight into his soul.

Arthur drew Merlin closer with one arm around the slender man’s waist and the other sneaking up to cup his jaw. Merlin’s eyelids fluttered and his breath quickened. “It’s okay”, Arthur reassured him. “I’ll be careful.” 

Merlin closed his eyes as Arthur leaned in. He felt the warm and sure press of Arthur’s lips against his own. The feeling of Arthur’s smooth lips and his stubbly jaw against his own was everything. He wasn’t sure what to do. He felt like moving his lips against Arthur’s, to get the full experience, but he wasn’t sure how. In an act of bravery he moved his hands to Arthur’s neck and threaded his fingers through the soft, blond hair. Arthur hummed in approval and glided his hands across Merlin’s back as he gave him lingering kisses. With each kiss Merlin felt surer of himself and with each kiss he felt himself grow bolder. He started sucking on Arthur’s lower lip and Arthur happily reciprocated. 

As the two men came up for air Merlin lowered his hands to Arthur’s chest, slowly stroking the muscles he felt underneath his fingertips. 

Bodies aligned they simply stood there for a while, foreheads leaning against each other, breathing in each other’s scents; warmth coiling around their abdomen. 

“Do you regret it?”, Arthur asked. His tone light. 

Merlin lightly shook his head. “No, you clotpole. How could I?”

“Clotpole?”, Arthur asked, leaning back slightly; looking at the raven-haired man with amusement twinkling in his eyes. He leaned back in and kissed Merlin affectionately on the tip of his nose. Surprised by himself he broke away almost completely. “I think that’s enough for tonight. I don’t want to rush you.”

Merlin felt bereaved. Pouting he said: “I don’t think you’re rushing me. Stay.”

Arthur smiled at that. “No, sir. If I stay and we go further than this, I’m sure you will regret it tomorrow when you start freaking out. And I’d rather not see that happening.” 

They kissed once more, passionately and as Arthur broke away again he whispered: “Goodnight.”

******************************************

After Arthur left Merlin’s room, Merlin let himself fall on top of his bed, arms spread out, like some teenage girl who’d just kissed the man of her dream. With horror he realised that he had in fact, met the man of his dreams, so he wasn’t that far off. He blushed to himself as he lay on his back, lifting his fingers to his lips, he was being soppy anyway. There was not salvaging him now. 

Merlin slept better than he had in a long time. Dreaming of handsome, strong, blond men with sinful lips. 

*****************************************

Arthur didn’t feel as peaceful as Merlin did when he returned to his own room. He felt as though his blood was sizzling beneath the surface. He felt like he should run a few miles just to get the feeling of wanting to jump up in the air and high-five everyone he could find out of his system. 

He, for the third time that night, opened his door and walked out into the hallway. Arthur quietly made his way to Gwaine and Percival’s room. 

He knocked and after waiting several anxious seconds, a groggy looking Percival opened the door in such a way that only his face and a bit of his torso were visible. Arthur knit his eyebrows together. “Can I talk to Gwaine and you? Or… Are you two busy?” Percival yawned in response and held up one finger as to say: one second. 

Arthur impatiently tapped his foot on the floor waiting for someone to get back to him. Gwaine was next to come to the door. 

Arthur raised his eyebrow at his friend. “Don’t give me that look. You’re the one that woke me up”, Gwaine said in between yawns. “What do you want?” 

“Can we talk inside your room?”, Arthur asked impatiently. 

Gwaine rolled his eyes in response and let Arthur in, who plonked down on the arm chair next to the fireplace. 

Arthur started rambling: “I kissed Merlin and I don’t know what to do I think he liked it but what if he panics in the morning and wants nothing to do with me? I just really need to know that he’ll be okay and that we can continue this because I think I might be in love with him. Gwaine help me.” 

Gwaine blinked and then shook his head in confusion. “Wait. Did you say you kissed him?” 

Arthur took a long breath. “Well. Not just out of nowhere. But yeah.” He awkwardly rubbed his neck, quite proud of himself. 

“Okay, well”, Gwaine started, still very sleepy. “why did you kiss him and how was it not out of nowhere?”

Arthur explained to his friends that he’d found Merlin in the library and how he’d broken down and told Arthur about the abuse he had suffered from his step father Gorlois after he’d found the compromising drawings. He told his friends about the fact that Merlin truly believed his affections to be sick and how he had promised Merlin that he wasn’t going to allow Merlin to ever think like that again. And then he told Gwaine and Percival how Merlin had basically declared his feelings for Arthur and that he’d asked Merlin if he could kiss him and how he did. 

“I’m so scared that he’ll change his mind in the morning and that he’ll freak out and leave. I’m so scared that he’ll never want to see me again and that he’ll marry the first woman that comes along just so he can go where I can’t follow.”, Arthur ended. 

“Wow”, Gwaine responded., “You’re looking well into the future. And you’re being a bit dramatic mate…”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii!! I know it's been a while… yeah…  
> Anyway, this chapter has some things that are very much bases on Pride and Prejudice and I'm definitely going that way a bit with part of the storyline. I hope you don't hate me too much for this steal.
> 
> Enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think :)
> 
> Until next time! x

“I think you should go back to your room and try to sleep. You can’t do much about anything right now. Just wait until you see Merlin at breakfast tomorrow and see how he reacts to you.”, Gwaine said while guiding Arthur to the door.

With Arthur finally gone Gwaine shook his head in disbelieve before jumping back in bed with Percival.

* * *

 

Merlin woke up slowly remembering all that happened during the night as he sat up. A dopy grin spread across his face and he let himself fall back onto his bed. He wasn’t scared now. He almost wished he didn’t have to go back to the real world again in four days.

The real world wouldn’t accept what Merlin hoped to be a relationship, between two men. However, for now he didn’t want to think of such glum things. He’d pushed his fears to the back of his mind; anything to be kissed like that again.

Merlin took extra care while getting dressed, looking at himself in the mirror for ages. Did he look different? Merlin carefully examined his face, taking note of the happy gleam in his eyes and a blush that seemed now permanent on his usually pale cheeks.

When he arrived in the dining room Arthur got up so fast that he almost pushed over everyone’s glasses. “Merlin.”, he said breathlessly.

Merlin felt himself getting out of breath as well, looking at the flustered blonde. “Morning Arthur.”, he replied with a shy smile. As he sat down next to Arthur he noticed Gwaine facepalming himself in the corner of his eye.

“Will you come along for the hunt today?”, Arthur asked Merlin in a private voice, leaning in way more than necessary.

“You already asked me that last night”, Merlin replied with a smug smile “And no, sorry. If you don’t mind I’d rather stay in with Gwen. I’m not a big fan of hunting.”, Merlin continued, biting his lower lip.

Arthur nodded. “That’s okay. Will you go for a ride with me tomorrow then? The forest has a nice riding path.”

“Of course.”, Merlin said earnestly. “There’s nothing I’d love more.”

Arthur was relieved Merlin seemed fine, although he was bummed about the fact that he wasn’t coming along on the hunt, but at least they’d be spending the evening together.

* * *

 

Gwen and Merlin stood out on the porch and waved their men and Mithian off on their hunt. It had cooled down considerably in the storm and Gwen decided she wanted to sit indoors. “What are your plans today Merlin?”, She asked.

“I’m not sure”, Merlin answered. “I think I’ll write to my mother, maybe read or sketch a little. You?”

“I think I’ll just sit here and do nothing all day”, She said with a grin.

“By the way,” Gwen continued. “What was going on with you and Arthur during breakfast? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you two seem to have sorted out whatever was going on, but I’m a bit confused.”

Merlin smiled to himself. “Are you prying for gossip Gwen?”

“Is there something to gossip about?”, She answered cheekily.

Merlin started blushing heavily. He secretly really wanted to tell Gwen, but she was going to have to drag it out of him nonetheless.

“Oh come on Merlin!”, Gwen exclaimed. She jumped up, sat herself down besides Merlin and grabbed his hands. “Tell me!”

“No, I’m not going to!”, Merlin said.

“But there _is_ something to tell then?”, Gwen rebuffed, eyes wide.

“No! I didn’t mean it like that!”, Merlin replied, trying to safe himself.

“Sure you don’t. You can try and run from me Merlin, but eventually I will find out.”

Merlin stared at Gwen with round eyes. “Well, alright. You’re obviously mad from being pregnant or something, so I’m just going to move away and get us some tea.”

The rest of the morning was spent in quiet companionship. Gwen lounged around and watched Merlin sketch, occasionally asking him the odd question about what he was doing or trying to pry his secret out of him.

After the two had their lunch, George walked in with a letter for Merlin. “Mr Emrys, this letter from your mother has just arrived. The deliverer said it concerns a matter of great urgency.”

“What’s that about?, Gwen asked.

Merlin furrowed his brow in worry. “I don’t know.”

Merlin grabbed his knife to open the letter. He quickly read through it.

 

_Dear Merlin,_

_Something has happened while you’ve been away and I’m afraid I must ask you to rush back home immediately._

_The regiments made camp just outside town the day you and Arthur set out for your trip and Morgana visited there daily with some young lady of high standing- or so we thought- to keep some of the higher ranked gentlemen company._

_As it turns out the two young ladies met two foot soldiers and claimed to have fallen in love, I am sure you can imagine Gorlois’ reaction to this… He forbade Morgana to go out and was planning to meet this soldier by the name of Cenred Knight himself, but the next morning when I went up to wake Morgana, she was gone, and when Gorlois arrived at the military camp there was no sign of Mr Knight either._

_We are so afraid that Morgana will do something silly and bring ruin to herself by marrying this Mr Knight, who I am sure, has nothing but bad intentions. I wouldn’t ask you to leave your friends so abruptly if I didn’t think there was no another solution. Please come home as soon as you read this so you can strengthen the search party to safe your sister from ruin._

_Your ever loving mother,_   
_Hunith_

 

“I have to leave immediately”, Merlin said, with shock in his voice.

“What’s happened?” Gwen asked worried.

“My sister has ran away with a soldier, saying they are in love with each other. My mother is afraid that they will elope and she needs me to help look for her before it’s too late. I have to get my things and go immediately.” Merlin got up, still clutching the letter in his hand, all previous happy thoughts were gone from his head. He could only think of how unlike Morgana this seemed and where on earth he was going to find her.

“I’ll help you pack”, Gwen said as she followed Merlin to his chambers.

Within 15 minutes they were back downstairs waiting for the stable hand to bring out a horse for Merlin to ride back home on. As Gwen and Merlin walked down the steps Arthur, Gwaine, Percival, Leon, Mithian and Lancelot came riding back.

“What’s going on?”, Arthur asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. His mind immediately filled with fear that Merlin had suddenly changed his mind about him and was making his escape.

“I have to go Arthur, I’m really sorry”, Merlin replied. “My sister has ran away from home with some soldier and my mother thinks they intent to elope.”

“My God”, Arthur replied, getting off his horse. “Is there anything I can do?”

“I don’t know yet, but I will let you know if there is anything you can help me with”, Merlin said, hanging his head.

Gwen looked at the two men, who were obviously desperate to talk in private. “Lets get these horses inside”, she said, receiving a nod of thanks from Arthur.

Left alone for their goodbye Arthur strode over to Merlin and embraced him. “I’m sorry you have to leave. I wish you didn’t.”

Merlin was glad for Arthur’s touch and clung to him. “I don’t know how I’m going to find her. I don’t want her to ruin herself but at the same time I can’t help but think that if Uther finds out about this he’ll not want you two to marry anymore and I can’t help but feel a little glad about that.”

Arthur chuckled to that and gently kissed Merlin on his lips. “I know what you mean, but you have your duty to your family. Go and look for her and keep me updated alright?”

Merlin nodded initiating another kiss. He so desperately did not want to leave. He wanted to forget about the rest of the world. With a heavy heart he broke away from Arthur and got on his horse.

“You still owe me a ride through the woods!”, Arthur yelled out after a disappearing Merlin.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
> I´ve been writing quite a lot this month :D So here's a bigger upload than usual.   
> I hope you'll enjoy reading it :)
> 
> Please make sure to let me know what you thought 
> 
> x

Arthur stood looking at Merlin’s disappearing figure for what felt like hours until a gentle hand landed on his shoulder. 

"Lets go inside Arthur, get you out of your riding clothes”, Gwen said gently.   
Arthur turned around and rested his head on Gwen’s shoulder to hide the few tears that seemed to have escaped his eyes.   
“Oh Arthur, you really are in deep aren’t you?”   
Arthur got up to his room on automatic pilot and changed himself slowly, washing off the dirt from riding through puddles. The morning had been so good; riding through the thick forest with his best friends, letting go of tension that had been building up inside of him, but now there was nothing left of that good feeling. When the dinner bell rang Arthur made his way downstairs. He wasn’t particularly in the mood to have to explain things, but he was going to have to.

“Is it really true? Has Morgana eloped?”, Leon was the first to ask.   
“As far as I know she hasn’t yet, but Merlin has to find her before she does”, Arthur answered bleakly.   
“You know your farther will find out about this, if he hasn’t already, right?”, Mithian added. “He won’t want you to marry anymore.”   
“Yes that’s almost certain, but even though I didn’t rejoice in the idea of marrying her, I wouldn’t wish her any misfortune”, Arthur replied.

After dinner his friends wouldn’t let Arthur out of their sight. They understood that Arthur’s future now seemed so uncertain to him, with his wife-to-be eloping and the uncertainty of Merlin. Arthur was grateful that they were trying to distract his mind, even if it didn’t really work.

* * *

 

Merlin arrived back home at nightfall, a servant waiting for him at the gates, ready to bring him to his mother and step-father. Without further delay he was brought into the drawing room where the tension was tangible and almost too much to bear. Upon looking at Gorlois, Merlin felt a pang of fear, thinking of what had happened with Arthur and how Gorlois would react if he knew. Merlin always felt as though Gorlois could see right through him. He could see the anger and hatred clearly in the man’s eyes.   
Hunith was quite the opposite of Gorlois’ cold demeanor. Her eyes were swimming with tears and she seemed ready to break down for fear of her daughter’s fate. Gorlois got up abruptly and gave Merlin a nod in acknowledgement.

“Tomorrow at dawn this rat’s commanding officer will come over so we can form a plan to find them. Make sure you’re here.”   
Merlin nodded back, not meeting Gorlois’ eyes. The cold-hearted man walked out of the drawing room, slamming the double doors on his way out. Merlin rushed to his mother and hugged her close as she broke down. After just holding each other for a few beats Hunith looked up from Merlin’s shoulder.

“I’m not even mad at her anymore Merlin. I just want her to come back.”   
“Are you certain there is no way this man is truly in love with her?”, Merlin asked.   
Hunith sniffed. “Well, I suppose there is a chance but what are the odds? A poor foot-soldier in love with a rich man’s daughter?”   
“What do you think Gorlois will do to Morgana when he finds her? What will he do to him?”, Merlin asked.   
“I don’t want to think about what he’ll do to Morgana to be honest. He is so angry and I don’t know if he’ll be able to control himself. As for the soldier. I am sure he will kill him.”, Hunith said darkly.

After putting his mother to bed Merlin sat in his room, thinking about the days to come. Hopefully he could detach himself from Gorlois, ‘increase the search area’. As he got closer to falling asleep his thoughts drifted towards Arthur. Was he thinking about Merlin as well? Did he long for Merlin as much as Merlin was longing for him? The thought made him blush and bury his face into his pillow. He wanted so bad to have someone lay beside him, someone to hold on to as a life line.

Merlin woke up with the dawn, dressed himself quickly and went down to the kitchens. Gorlois had often told him that it was unbecoming of a young lord to sit with staff, but Merlin was still sometimes using it as an escape place. He entered the kitchen to Mrs Evans, their homey cook, potting around preparing breakfast.

“Morning Mrs Evans”, Merlin said. Potts and pans clanged as Mrs Evans jumped.   
“Merlin! My boy you scared the living day-light out of me!”, she said, slapping Merlin with a wooden spoon.   
“Ouch!”, Merlin said with a smile. “How are you?” Mrs Evans looked him over fondly.   
“Oh I am alright my dear. Nothing much amiss with me, but I am so worried about Miss Lefay. Such a silly thing of her to run away like that. But how are you? I didn’t know you’d be back already.”   
“Yes, Mr Lefay has asked me to help him with the seach.”, Merlin replied. “But I am alright, I just wished I could have stayed with my friends. I was having such a good time with them.”   
“Oh I am glad,” Mrs Evans said. “Your mother was so worried that you wouldn’t make any new friends, but I am glad to see that you have. So what is Mr Pendragon like? Is he a good match to our Miss Lefay?”   
Merlin blushed thinking about Arthur. “Mr Pendragon is a very nice and intelligent man, but I am not sure his father will want him to marry Morgana when he hears about this and I’m sure he will.”   
“Oh you could be right.”, Mrs Evans replied. “Well, can I get you some breakfast?”   
Merlin, glad she changed the subject, replied. “Yes please, some bread and cheese will do thank you.”

* * *

 

Arthur dragged himself out of bed, not really wanting to do anything at all. During breakfast Gwen proposed they could to go the tea-rooms in the village and have a nice, quiet day there.

“There’s no use to us sitting here moping, let’s go down to the village for some tea and pastries. If there’s one thing that always cheers me up it’s sugar.”   
Arthur reluctantly went along with the plan, dragging his feet every step of the way. The tea-rooms were decorated gaily with light pinks and blues adorning the walls. Drinking from the frilly cups always made Arthur feel a bit emasculated, but he secretly loved watching Percival drinking from them. His huge hands around such a tiny cup. Such a massive block of muscle amidst such frill. While staring out of the window he suddenly caught a glimpse of something familiar. A young woman with black hair elegantly falling down her back, wearing dark green coat rushed past the shop window with a young man in an army uniform in tow. Arthur got up suddenly, realising who it was.

“Arthur, what is it?”, asked Leon, but Arthur rushed out of the shop. “Miss Lefay!”, he called out. Morgana turned around startled and her young soldier stepped round in front of her, shielding her from potential danger.   
“What do you want from us?”, he inquired, his voice not nearly as steady as he’d like. Morgana looked around her lover’s shoulder at Arthur, regarding him carefully.   
“It’s alright Cenred. I think.”, She said. “Mr Pendragon, is my step-brother with you?”   
“No,”, Arthur replied. “He had to leave so he could look for you. Do you realise that when my father finds out about this, there is no way he’ll have us marry?”   
Morgana looked at him sceptically. “Do you really mind that much?”   
“Well, I don’t want you to ruin yourself for a man who _claims_ to love you.”, Arthur said.   
Cenred jumped forward. “How dare you!”   
“Cenred. Stop it.”, Morgana said, pulling him back.

“Is everything alright?” Arthur turned around, his friends had left the tea-room to see what was going on.   
“Everyone, this is Morgana Lefay, Merlin’s step-sister. Miss Lefay, these people are my friends.”, Arthur said. “Miss Lefay, you understand I need to tell your brother of your whereabouts? I hope you also understand that I cannot let you leave? You and your soldier will follow us back to the house where I will contact Merlin.”   
“Mr Pendragon, please hear us out.”, Cenred suddenly pleaded.   
Arthur looked down his nose at him. “I will, once we get back to the house.”

* * *

 

Merlin rode his horse all day inquiring in every village he went past, going into every little hotel to look for Morgana. Exhausted he got himself a bed in one of the inns. After sending Gorlois a wire about his whereabouts and lack of progress he lay down on the bed with a sigh. As he’d been going past all those villages he’d become slowly aware that he was riding towards the village that Arthur’s holiday home was nearby. Perhaps he’d be able to stop there the next night? The next morning Merlin got up early, he dressed himself wearily, not looking forward to another day on horseback. He ate a quick breakfast and saddled up.

As he rode out of the small village a young man, also on horseback, overtook him. “Mr Emrys!”, he called out. “I have a letter for you. You left the inn before I could give it to you.” Merlin stopped his horse, took the letter from the young man, paid him a few coins for his trouble and thanked him. He wondered who the letter was from. Had Gorlois already found Morgana? He hoped not.   
He opened the letter, it was from Arthur!

_Dear Merlin,_

_I hope this letter reaches you okay. I have found your sister and the man she planned to elope with and have taken them back to the house._  
Try and make your way here as soon as you can, but perhaps refrain from telling Mr Lefay. Your sister and Cenred seem quite honest in their feelings for each other.   
You will want to hear them out first. Despite the occasion I am happy you will be returning here. I can’t wait to see you. 

_\- Arthur_

Merlin read through the letter twice, and the ending sentence even more. He touched Arthur’s name on the page, carefully folded the letter in his breast pocket and quickly set off in the direction that would bring him to Arthur.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY IT HAS BEEN SO LONG!!!!!!  
> I have not been able to really do much. I'm still not to be honest... I'm trying though...  
> Please let me know what you think after reading! 
> 
> Sorry it's been so long! xx

Morgana and Cenred sat outside the house in the sun, talking to each other in hushed tones. “What do you think will happen when your brother gets here? Will he deliver us to your father?”, Cenred asked worriedly.

“I don’t think he will”, Morgana answered. “Merlin is not Gorlois’ son, he’s different. I would say he is one of the kindest men I know even though I’ve not always been so nice to him.”

“How so?”

Morgana sighed. “I think I’ve always resented him a bit for being our mother’s first born and coming from a far happier marriage. I’m angry at times that I’m not a man. How different things would be if I were.”, she said, her eyes drifting into a fantasy that never was.

“Why would you want to be a man?”, Cenred asked confused.

Morgana looked at Cenred slightly irritated. “As a man you have so much freedom. You could marry, or you couldn’t; no one would think differently of you if you didn’t. No one tells you that your sole purpose is to bear children. You are allowed to speak your mind without being called insolent. As a woman you have so many restrictions in this life.”

“I would never treat you like that Morgana”, Cenred said lovingly.

“I know”, Morgana replied with a small smile. “That’s why I love you.”

 

* * *

 

The sun was going down rapidly, Arthur looked worriedly out of the window biting his nails in anticipation of Merlin’s arrival. Suddenly someone jerked his fingers away, Arthur looked away startled by the sudden movement. “You okay?”, Gwen asked. “It’s no use destroying your fingernails, it’s not going to make him get here any faster you know?”

Arthur sighed.

“Why are you so worried?”, asked Gwen. “He will be here soon I bet.”

“But it’s getting so dark”, Arthur said, looking extremely worried. “What if something happens to him on the road?” 

Just as he looked back outside he heard hoofs fall in the distance. “That’s him!”, he exclaimed. “Can you keep Morgana at bay so I can have a few moments alone?”, Arthur asked Gwen.

Gwen smiled. “Don’t worry, no one will disturb you.” 

Arthur almost ran to the stables. The stable boy bowed as he entered. “Mr Emrys has just arrived, sir.”

“Thank you, you may leave us, we’ll take care of the horse.”, Arthur replied. His whole being was shaking in anticipation. He couldn’t believe he was seeing Merlin so soon again. He couldn’t believe he was actually _nervous._

“Merlin”, Arthur almost breathed out as he saw him. Merlin looked so different. His hair was wild and he had a haunted look in his eyes as he brushed down his horse. He didn’t respond to Arthur. “Merlin”, Arthur said slightly louder as he laid his hand on Merlin’s to still it on the horse’s flank.

Merlin suddenly dropped the brush and fell into Arthur’s arms. He buried his face in the crook between Arthur’s neck and shoulder. “I don’t know how to keep her safe Arthur.”, he whispered. “How am I supposed to protect her from Gorlois now, regardless of whether they are truly in love with each other or not.”

Arthur lifted Merlin’s head to face his own and gently kissed him. “We’ll think of something. I’ll do anything to help you.”

Merlin initiated a deep, lingering kiss; surprising Arthur. Merlin just needed this for a moment. He just wanted his moment of peace before heading into – what felt like – battle. For a little while they just stood there, holding each other and kissing slowly and sweetly. Merlin felt so loved and so brave.

After putting the horse in its stable Merlin asked: “So, where is she? I want to talk to her alone first.” 

“She’s in her room now. I’ve made sure that she and Cenred have separate rooms and they are under the close eyes of Mithian and Leon.”, Arthur said.

“Thank you.”, Merlin said.

 

* * *

 

 

Merlin and Arthur walked up to the room Morgana was staying. Arthur knocked on the door and let himself and Merlin in.

Morgana sat on her bed and looked up as her door opened. She sighed heavily and Merlin could see the conflict in her eyes. He sat down next to her. “I’m listening.”, he said, waiting for Morgana to explain everything to him.

Morgana told Merlin in a quiet voice how the militia had come into town and how she met Cenred while shopping. He had been so kind to her, he had listened to her and actually showed interest in her opinions. For the first time she felt as though she didn’t have to be mean. She could just be herself and be liked for it.   
After a month of secret meetings in town and walks around the park, Morgana and Cenred were found out by Gorlois. He was going to lock her up on the house, so she resolved to run away with Cenred.

As she told the story silent tears rolled down her cheeks. Merlin felt sorry for her, he saw a completely different Morgana than usually. She suddenly seemed so small and frail, she hugged her own body like she was trying to hold herself together. Out of impulse Merlin pulled her in for a hug and Morgana finally felt like she could let go of her emotions. She sobbed hard into his shoulder, clinging onto him for dear life. “I don’t know what to do Merlin, I know what to do!”

“I’m going to help you Morgana, you’re not alone in this.”, Merlin answered. “I’m not sure yet what we’re going to do, but we’ll figure it out.”

“Now”, he continued, “I want you to go downstairs and sit with Gwen and Mithian. You’ll like them, they’re completely dominant over their husbands as well.”

Morgana chuckled in response, drying her eyes. “Be nice to Cenred, Merlin. He really does love me”.

“How did you know I am going to talk to him?”, Merlin asked.

“Because you’re my big brother.”, Morgana told him. “Even though I’ve been mean to you, you’re still my big brother and I’m sorry.”, she said, looking down.

Merlin smiled back at her. “It’s okay, I understand. I love you to.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii!!! It didn't take me half a year this time xD
> 
> I wrote most of this listening to the new Beauty and the Beast soundtrack, just because.   
> Also as a disclaimer: I am a huge virgin and don't know how sex works. (There is no actual sex yet in this chapter, but I'm just warning you).
> 
> Please let me know if you liked it and also especially if you have ideas of how Gorlois will react as I haven't quite figured it out yet...

When Merlin and Morgana exited her room Arthur was waiting outside. “Where are the others?”, Merlin asked.

“They’re downstairs.”, Arthur answered. “Are you going to talk to Cenred now?”

Morgana nodded and walked off, understanding the hind that Merlin and Arthur wanted to be left alone.

Merlin sighed. “Yes, I’m going to try to find out whether he really loves her. From Morgana’s perspective it seems like he does. I don’t think she truly loves _him_ though. I get the feeling that she rather just finds him kind and non-threatening…”

“Is that the right reason to marry with someone?”, Arthur argued.

“No, I don’t think so. I think she deserves more, but that’s not up to me, Arthur. I think all she wants is to make her own decisions. Can you blame her?”

Arthur smiled back at Merlin. “No, I can’t say I can.”

Merlin put his hand on the doorknob of Cenred’s room. “I’m going to talk to him now. See what his plan is.”

“Do you want me to come in with you?”, Arthur asked.

“No.”, Merlin replied. “I can handle it.”

 

* * *

 

 

Cenred shot up from the bed when Merlin entered the room. “You’re not going to tear us apart! No matter what you’ve told her!”, he yelled out dramatically. Merlin stared at him in the door opening until Cenred unceremoniously plonked back down onto the bed. “Are you okay now?”, Merlin asked with a hint (read; a lot) of sarcasm in his voice.

“If anything I am trying to see if we can come to a solution for all this mess that you’ve created for yourselves, rather than sabotage you.”, Merlin said exasperated. “First off all; who are you, where did you come from and what are your plans with my sister?”

Cenred took a deep breath and as he avoided Merlin’s eyes he answered: “My name is Cenred Knight, I am from a small village of no importance, from a family of similar standing. Until recently I was a soldier in the army, that was, until I met Morgana.”

“You know our family by now, I presume?”, Merlin asked. “You know that Morgana comes from money?”

“I know what you must be thinking”, Cenred answered. “But whatever you think my intentions are, you are wrong. I love Morgana, I love her fiery spirit and her strong mind. I don’t care about money.”

“Alright, supposing you have the chance to marry her, how do you plan on taking care of the two of you?”, Merlin asked. He thought to himself; _if their union is inevitable, which is likely as it is Morgana we’re talking about, I need to know if they at least have a viable plan._

“I wish to enter the clergy, it’s what I was trained to do. I have heard of a parish in need of a new clergyman near Bath. I know it will be a humble life, but I think it’s enough for the both of us.”, Cenred explained confidently.

Merlin wondered about the plan. Would Morgana really be okay with such a life? “Does she know of this plan of yours?”, he asked sceptically.

“Yes, she does.”, Cenred answered.

Merlin nodded to himself. _I think he’s genuine,_ he thought to himself. “I guess we must come up with a plan to settle you two then. And without angering Gorlois any more, if we can. If we can convince him of Morgana’s happiness we might save her inheritance as well.”

Cenred hugged Merlin impulsively. “Thank you! Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to Morgana, and myself of course.”

“Don’t worry, I think I have an idea now”, Merlin answered, scratching his neck awkwardly.

 

 

Merlin and Cenred got downstairs just as the others walked over to the dining room. Morgana walked over to Merlin and Cenred. “Cenred, go follow the others to dinner so I can talk to Merlin.”, she said.

When they were alone Merlin joked to Morgana: “You’ve sure got him in your pocket do you?” Morgana smirked at Merlin and answered: “Has he told you about the plan?”   
“He has. Do you really agree with it? What are you going to do while he preaches? Sit at home and embroider cushions?” Merlin asked.

Morgana poked him in retaliation. “No, of course not, I’ve got an education. Perhaps I could teach poor girls or something. That’s what the wife of a clergyman is supposed to do right? Something charitable?”

Merlin chuckled back at her and guided her towards the dining room where everyone sat together, finally enjoying a peaceful moment.

 

* * *

 

 

After dinner everyone decided to go to bed early and Merlin and Arthur made sure that Morgana and Cenred went to their respective rooms.

“Do you think they’ll stay in their own rooms?”, asked Arthur.   
“I think so”, answered Merlin. “Morgana is smart enough to know the dangers for women when they… you know. As unfortunate and as unfair as it is, she knows as well as we do that that’s the way it is and that she needs to protect herself.”

Arthur nodded thoughtfully. “Good.”

“I suppose this is goodnight then?”, Merlin asked.

“Actually,” Arthur started, his face slightly reddening. “Because of Morgana and Cenred staying here we have a shortage of rooms.”

“Oh, I see”, Merlin said, looking up shyly through his lashes. “Where am I to sleep then?”, he asked, his heart beating faster.

Not looking Merlin in the eyes Arthur answered: “Well, you could stay in the library or another room. Or, youcouldstayinmyroomwithmeifyoudon’tmind”

Merlin smiled to himself. “I’ll stay with you,” he said softly. “I’m sure it’s more comfortable and I’m sure you won’t defile my honour.”

Arthur snorted in rebuttal. He liked this side of Merlin that seemed to be poking out more and more. “You’re secretly incredibly sarcastic and mean aren’t you?”, he joked.   
Merlin started walking towards Arthur’s room. “Don’t tell anyone”, he answered.

Neither man undressed completely and they stepped into bed, side by side with their underclothes still on. This wasn’t the time for taking things further in their relationship and Merlin was glad that Arthur saw that, as he certainly wasn’t ready for that yet. He did however feel the need to be held so he nestled himself against Arthur´s solid body, resting his head on Arthur´s chest. Arthur hummed in contentment and put his arm around Merlin, holding him tight.

“What are you thinking about?”, Arthur asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“Just about what we should do. Should we discuss Morgana and Cenred’s plan to Gorlois, or should we just try to hide it all away from him, say that they’ve left the country? To be honest, I am sure that Gorlois will be anything but delighted with the idea of Morgana marrying a clergyman, who she first ran away with, and I’m sure that he’ll find out that they haven’t left the country if I tell him that.”, Merlin rambled as he tugged on Arthur’s shirt.

Arthur stopped brushing his hand through Merlin’s soft hair and placed a kiss on his forehead. “I know that you’re worried, and trust me, so am I, but can’t we at least try and leave it ‘till tomorrow?”

Merlin sighed and looked up into Arthur’s blue eyes. “You’re right. We’re here now, tomorrow is a new day. So, did you have a suggestion as to how to distract ourselves.” _Just because I want to take things slow, doesn’t mean we can’t kiss and touch a little…_ Merlin thought to himself.

Arthur chuckled at Merlin and pulled him up for a lingering kiss. Merlin hummed into it and dragged himself into a better position, deepening the kiss. Feeling Arthur’s hands roam through his hair was an amazing feeling, both soothing and maddening.

In a sudden urge Merlin climbed on top of Arthur, straddling his hips. “I thought we were going to take thing slow?”, Arthur asked, sounding somewhat out of breath. Reddening quickly Merlin answered: “Well, yeah… Do you mind, should I stop?”   
“No, no you shouldn’t if you don’t want to”, Arthur said, taking hold of the waist of the man on top of him. “As long as you let me know when you want to stop and as long as you don’t cross your own boundaries”.

“Yes, yes yes”, Merlin mumbled as he leaned back in to kiss Arthur again, making the blond man moan as he ‘accidentally’ grinded their crotches together.  

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Hey! I know, it's been 7 months... I'm the worst at keeping up with my writing...  
> If there's still anyone reading this, thanks! You are the most faithful reader in the world.   
> In a perfect world this was the only thing I would ever have to do and I would not be disturbed by things such as mental health and other shit :) 
> 
> Let me know what you think! 
> 
> xxx

The next morning Merlin awoke to soft sunrays hitting his face through the window. He yawned languidly and stretched out, unexpectedly hitting something hard with his stretched out fist. “OW”, something next to him yelped. Merlin looked to his right in shock, finding a mayhem of man and blanket and a tufts of golden hair sticking out at the top of it. The raven haired man yawned once again and slowly pulled down the blankets to reveal Arthur’s dismayed face. “Are you always this violent in the morning?”, he asked. “Because if so, we may need to do something about it…”

Merlin smiled back. “No, I just kind of forgot I guess. Sorry I hit you.” He leaned down clumsily to kiss Arthur’s forehead better. “Tsss am I so easily forgotten?”, Arthur asked, fake pouting.   
“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Merlin answered as he laid back on his own pillow.

 _How could I ever forget Arthur?_ He asked himself. He wished he had dared to go beyond kissing and some _crotch grinding_ , but when he felt something stir within himself (and he was sure he felt something on Arthur as well) he became all flustered and unable to go on. Disappointed in himself and feeling uncomfortable in his pants he had fallen to  sleep frustrated.

“What is it?”, Arthur asked, sensing Merlin’s pondering.   
“I’m just – I’m sorry that I stopped so suddenly last night,” Merlin answered. “I wish I’d dared to go on, but I lost my nerve I guess.” Merlin buried his face into his pillow, not wanting to look Arthur in his eyes.

Arthur smiled to himself. Who would have ever thought that he’d have so much patience with someone? He certainly didn’t know until now. He just really didn’t want Merlin to feel bad about the fact that he needed time. Arthur’s past flings were with people who were experienced, like him, but this wasn’t a fling. This was something serious and something Arthur didn’t want to end. He wanted to take care of Merlin and be with him, teach him  what love could be like.

Arthur rolled onto his side, facing Merlin, and put his hand on the mob of black hair. “I’ll admit it isn’t comfortable being left like, well – I’m sure you know what I mean because I know you felt the same way – but like I said before, and I’ll say it again; I want you to take your time and tell me how you feel.”

“I know you’ve told me that”, Merlin said, rolling around to face Arthur. “But you’re so much more experienced than I am and I don’t want you to get frustrated when you could probably just be with someone who’s a lot less difficult.”

Arthur rolled his eyes at Merlin and leaned in. “Well lucky for you, you’re really cute and I don’t want to be with anyone ‘less difficult’”.   
“You sure?”, Asked Merlin, smiling and leaning back.   
“Yes”, Arthur said, leaning back in and trapping Merlin in between his arms.   
“We should probably head downstairs for breakfast”, Merlin giggled.

 

* * *

 

  
When Merlin came down into the dining room everyone was waiting for them. Merlin locked eyes with his sister, who frowned at him with a confused face. Arthur cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly. “Morning everyone…”, Arthur said, breaking some of the awkwardness.

“Sleep well, Merlin?”, Gwaine asked Merlin, wagging his eyebrows deviously. Before Merlin could answer him Arthur interrupted: “Yes, very well thank you Gwaine. I think, however, that we have more pressing matters to discuss today.” Gwaine raised his hands in surrender, still smirking.

During breakfast Merlin, Morgana and Cenred informed everyone else about their problem. “So now”, Merlin explained. “We need to figure out a way to get Morgana and Cenred to the parish near Bath so they can start their life there, while at the same time appeasing Gorlois so he won’t go after them.”

“From what I’ve heard you say about Gorlois, I think the best way to proceed might be to meet up in neutral territory, somewhere public where he can’t make too much of a scene”, Leon said after everyone had taken place in the drawing room. “If there are witnesses he can’t exactly go into an angry fit, can he?”

“You’re right”, Morgana answered, looking thoughtful. “Gorlois cares too much about his public appearance for him to do that.”

Merlin nodded. “I’m afraid I would have to escort him and mother home afterwards. Someone needs to make sure he won’t go after you and Cenred after all and someone needs to make sure he won’t hurt mother…”

“You think he would do that?”, Morgana asked horrified.

“I don’t think we fully know what he’s capable of Morgana. His temper is unpredictable as it is.”

“Well, what are we going to say to him so that he’ll agree to let Morgana go?”, Gwen asked. “And how are we going to get him to the ‘neutral territory’?”, Mithian added.

“I think it would be best if Merlin and I went to Gorlois to talk to him first.”, Arthur said. “That way Merlin won’t face him alone and we’ll be able to tell him most of it somewhere he won’t feel threatened. Then we’ll make sure he comes with us to, lets say the nearest inn, where we’ll all meet up.” He looked at Merlin, seeking his approval, but Merlin seemed deep in thought. “Merlin?”, Arthur asked, trying to get Merlin’s attention.

Merlin’s head snapped up. “I was just thinking. Even if he lets Morgana go, he’s going to want some form of compensation in return and I’m just trying to think of what he will want.”

“Like what?”, Gwaine joked. “Their first born child?”

“He’s not a witch Gwaine”, Merlin said, rolling his eyes at Gwaine. “He’s going to be angry about the fact that Morgana is disobeying him and about the fact that he won’t be able to use her for political gain.”

“So, he’ll be trying to find a way to compensate for that”, Leon said.

A sharp intake of breath made everyone look in Morgana’s way, who sat staring at Merlin with eyes, big from shock. “What is it Morgana?”, asked Cenred, taking her hand.

“Merlin”, she started. “He’ll want _you_ , Merlin”.

Merlin looked down. He had known it already; in order to save Morgana, he would have to sacrifice himself and his happiness. “Merlin, you can’t”, Morgana whispered.

“He can’t what?”, Arthur snapped, taking in Merlin’s frozen form, his eyes not meeting anyone.

“If Gorlois can’t marry me off, he’ll want Merlin to be the one who gets pawned off. And I think Merlin intents to let him..”


End file.
